Honestly, can someone explain to me why Total Recall is being remade? It's not as if there's anything wrong with the first one -- plus, more importantly, I have never once heard someone say, "You know, this world needs a reboot of Total Recall. Someone really needs to get to the bottom of that ambiguous ending." Regardless, since it does appear that every movie ever produced is being rebooted in one way or another, as suggested by loyal Movieline commenter HwoodHills, here are the only five movies any of us can think of that are not currently being remade.
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Sure, the economy isn't technically fixed, but why should that stop our Commander in Chief from making appearances on The View, Mythbusters and The Daily Show? Seriously, at this point, the amount of television cameos Barack Obama is making would even have Paul Lynde blushing. Considering the president seems to have some extra time on his hands, though, here are five more television shows that would benefit from an appearance by Barack Obama.
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Despite the title The Bourne Legacy, Universal has officially confirmed that neither title character Jason Bourne nor star Matt Damon will appear in the fourth Bourne film. This troubling development prompted the thought that there might be a more appropriate title to capture the hearts and minds of those feeling scorned by the absence of their spy-franchise hero. Ahead, in grand Movieline tradition, consider 20 alternative-title suggestions for the Bourne Legacy. As always, your suggestions are welcome.
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Apparently since Hollywood has filled positions for every conceivable comic book adaptation (for now), the hottest script without a director is the adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith's novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. As of yesterday, Mike Newell (Prince of Persia), Neil Marshall (Doomsday) and David Slade (30 Days of Night, Twilight: Eclipse) were in the mix. Now add Jonathan Demme, Mike White (Year of the Dog), Matt Reeves (Cloverfield, Let Me In) and Phil Lord and Chris Miller (Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs). Most likely, Steven Spielberg and Uwe Boll will be in talks by tomorrow. In any case, what better way to spend Wednesday morning than brainstorming even more directors to add to this no-longer short list? Movieline's suggestions are after the jump!
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Can we all agree that we don't want to do the Time Warp again, at least with a remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Look, there's no doubt about it: The first version is absolutely terrible -- if you've ever tried to actually watch this movie alone on your couch, it's impossible. But that's exactly what makes it a cult classic to the legions of fans who gather in droves to watch at midnight movies and screening parties. How do you reproduce that? And what's the point? I'm all for a good musical remake, but there are plenty of other candidates that seem more appropriate than Rocky Horror. For example...
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Thursday's news that Angelina Jolie and James Cameron are Sony's choices to steer a new, 3-D Cleopatra on to screens caught pretty much everyone in the world off-guard -- partly because of the expense and magnitude of such a project, partly because of its fascinating creative prospects, and partly because it will never happen. In fact, while thinking it over today at Movieline HQ, we came up with 20 other actress/director pairs you're likelier to see collaborate before the titans Jolie and Cameron ever get on the same page. Surely you have a few of your own; let's hear them below.
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The news that Inception star Tom Hardy will be involved in Christopher Nolan's next Batman adventure should come as a surprise to exactly no one. Like many other directors, Nolan seems to love working with actors with whom he's worked in the past (see also Michael Caine, Cillian Murphy, Christian Bale). In the event that Nolan is running short on suggestions, Movieline is here to help. Ahead, the four other former Nolan performers who should wind up in the next Batman.
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Last week, we all learned the next Transformers movie will be called Transformers: The Dark of the Moon. Movieline has obtained (i.e. I took a peek at some other movie album titles) an exclusive list of 20 other titles that were reportedly given serious consideration before DreamWorks and Michael Bay adapted a popular Pink Floyd album and called it a day. Ahead, via the same careful movie-naming logic, find 20 alternate title suggestions for the third Transformers film. As always, your suggestions are welcome
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A young John Lennon hits theaters this weekend with the release of Nowhere Boy. The film title, a play on The Beatles' "Nowhere Man" from the Rubber Soul album, is about as close as you will get to hearing an actual Beatles song in Nowhere Boy (rights to the Beatles library is expensive, folks.) In honor of Nowhere Boy and the 70th birthday of John Lennon (okay, this is more in honor of John Lennon's 70th birthday) let's take a look at the five best Beatles related films to ever be released.
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The news broke today that the cast of Lost -- only separated now for, what, five months? -- will reunite at Spike TV's Scream awards show on Oct 19. Remember when TV Land reunited Bosom Buddies? Now that's a reunion. So instead of reconvening a cast we've barely had time to miss, why not use this occasion to honor a show that deserves a long overdue glad hand? Here are four more interesting and, unfortunately, long forgotten television casts that should take the stage that evening instead of Lost.
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During a recent interview, Bruce Willis let the cat out of the bag that a script for a fifth Die Hard film is complete. Considering that the fourth film, Live Free or Die Hard -- a play on New Hampshire's state motto coined by General John Stark -- broke free of the template forged by the two earlier sequels, Die Harder and Die Hard with a Vengeance, the fifth film could really be called, well, anything. Ahead, Movieline offers Fox 20 title suggestions for the fifth Die Hard film. You're welcome.
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And you thought the short list of Superman directors was weird. Rumors say that the script for Tales From the Gangster Squad (an ensemble piece based on a series of LA Times articles that examine the efforts of the LAPD to crack down on organized crime in the '40s) is every bit as awesome as the title, but this director short list is pretty...strange. Choices range from TV producers to mavericks to blockbuster savants. What gives? Ahead Movieline ranks the directors from most interesting to least after the jump.
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So you might have heard Bruce Willis was recently asked about the prospects of a fifth Die Hard film. And as it happens, by next year there will, in fact, be a fifth franchise installment. (My guess for a title: Early to Bed and Early to Rise, Makes a Man Healthy, Wealthy and Die Hard). A script has even already been written! But a fifth Die Hard? Seriously, how unlucky can one guy be? (Myself included.) The prospects for a fifth entry in a film series do not exactly have the best track record -- but there are some exceptions. To put this all in perspective, Movieline has developed the indispensable Fifth-Movie Installment Spectrum™ to shed some light on what Die Hard 5: Fools Rush in Where Angels Fear to Die Hard is up against.
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James Burns really hates Weezer. "This is an abusive relationship, and it needs to stop now," Burns wrote on the petition website thepoint.com. "I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year. I'm sick of hearing about whatever this terrible (and yes, even if you like the early stuff, you should be able to admit that they are wretched now) excuse for a band is up to these days." To remedy this issue, Burns is hoping to raise $10 million to give Weezer in an effort to get the band to "disappear." Good luck with that. Burns' crackpot idea isn't without merit, however! Ahead, find six projects Movieline would gladly pay $10 million to never have to hear from again.
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Oscars and baseball: They go together like car batteries and polenta. Which is to say they don't go together. However, with the Major League Baseball postseason scheduled to start later this afternoon (go Giants/anyone playing the Yankees!), what better time than now to break the playoffs down, Movieline-style? Ahead your favorite MLB playoff team gets a corresponding Best Picture candidate. You're welcome.
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