Write a Horror Haiku, Win a Cabin in the Woods Bong (and More) [UPDATED]
In honor of today's horror extravaganza Cabin in the Woods, pen a masterful horror-themed haiku and you could win a bounty of Cabin swag! Included in the grand prize: A Cabin t-shirt, a signed poster, the visualization "movie tie-in" book, the novelization (so you can understand the twists and turns and surprises at hand), and your very own Cabin in the Woods expanding bong (to, um, help you expand your mind and grasp what writer-producer Joss Whedon and director Drew Goddard are doing in this ultra meta-horror send-up). [UPDATE 4/16, 9:30 a.m. ET: The deadline has moved up! Read on for details...]
Cabin in the Woods is best left unspoiled, but suffice to say it's about a cabin... in the woods... where a group of unsuspecting coeds arrive one weekend, unprepared for what's to come. (Read Movieline's spoiler-free review here, or this spoilers-redacted SXSW report, for more.) Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Kristen Connolly, Jesse Williams, Fran Kranz, Richard Jenkins, and Bradley Whitford star.
The rules are simple: Submit an original haiku (using the 5-7-5 format) inspired by either Cabin in the Woods or your favorite horror classic, in the comments below or on Facebook/Twitter.
One grand prize winner will receive the following prize pack:
(1) Shirt
(1) Bong
(1) Visualization "Movie Tie-in" Book
(1) Novelization
(1) Signed Poster
But wait! FOUR runners-up will win a t-shirt, a poster, AND the coveted Cabin in the Woods bong. That's five chances to get your hands on the best (and arguably most useful) piece of movie swag to come along in a while. So hop to it, folks! Get your horror haiku on now.
[ED. NOTE: Due to site maintenance (including a commenting outage) Monday morning PT/afternoon ET, this contest will close earlier than originally expected. See details below.]
Contest closes Monday, April 16 at 5pm ET/2pm PT 12pm ET/9am PT. Entries must include an email address for contacting winners. Winner must be located in the U.S. Only one submission per person.
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Ancient Ones In Wait.
The Sacrifices Arrive.
They Select Their Fate.
We are off the grid
The puppeteers pull the strings
Enjoy the cabin!
The Woods are watching.
Five characters put to death
They are all just pawns
They horrify you
Bump in the night and find you
Heed the Harbinger
Blow the conch and swim
blood red seas of viscera
Long live the merman!
A structured contest
About a movie that's not
That's quite ironic.
Please excuse the mess
I had to dismember that
corpse with a trowel
That is the second
time Amy Acker got snatched
by a tentacle
Pissed on a zombie
Friend comes running afraid of
Decapitation.
Saw a unicorn
I was so happy at first
It impaled some guy.
Friday the thirteenth
Prepare for meta mind fuck
We're the Gods below
What the fuck was that
I think I heard a noise, Oh
Refrigerator
Thousands of nightmares
All in their own hellish crates
Release them for death
Code Black purged the base.
A last joint and no other choices.
The fool has doomed us.
Nightmarish creatures
all waiting to be released
just for the weekend
Writing on the walls
Drenched in the blood of comrades
I wait for the end
Darkness guides their hearts
Sitting in silence to wait
Fresh blood to be spilled
Screams are heard by none
The lives of many are done
All but The Virgin
Fate Chooses pain for five
Be the sacrifice walk with the dead
Only have yourself to blame
Once the gods have spoken
You lead your path to agony
Walk along the dead and feared
Man plays God, Man dies
Burn under a blood red sky
Ancient Gods Will Rise
Laugh if you must, but
You will not be laughing long.
The Merman cometh.
OMG Whedon!
After Buffy, Angel, etc...
You've Earned My Ticket!
See the movie high
The fool is in us all now,
Just let it out there.
Create perfection
Society awaits you
Dont conform your truth
Big brother awaits
He knows what to do with you
Puppeteer you are
Live your life like that,
But we aren't who we are
Someones doing it
Hollywood is smart
Government is not truthful
For we are blinded
Ultimate horror
Is not zombies or clowns, but
Sigourney Weaver
Japanese school girls
Make Sitterson very mad
F*** you and f*** you
Burnout went for a walk
And ended all of existence that day
No molesting trees were present
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