Write a Horror Haiku, Win a Cabin in the Woods Bong (and More) [UPDATED]
In honor of today's horror extravaganza Cabin in the Woods, pen a masterful horror-themed haiku and you could win a bounty of Cabin swag! Included in the grand prize: A Cabin t-shirt, a signed poster, the visualization "movie tie-in" book, the novelization (so you can understand the twists and turns and surprises at hand), and your very own Cabin in the Woods expanding bong (to, um, help you expand your mind and grasp what writer-producer Joss Whedon and director Drew Goddard are doing in this ultra meta-horror send-up). [UPDATE 4/16, 9:30 a.m. ET: The deadline has moved up! Read on for details...]
Cabin in the Woods is best left unspoiled, but suffice to say it's about a cabin... in the woods... where a group of unsuspecting coeds arrive one weekend, unprepared for what's to come. (Read Movieline's spoiler-free review here, or this spoilers-redacted SXSW report, for more.) Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Kristen Connolly, Jesse Williams, Fran Kranz, Richard Jenkins, and Bradley Whitford star.
The rules are simple: Submit an original haiku (using the 5-7-5 format) inspired by either Cabin in the Woods or your favorite horror classic, in the comments below or on Facebook/Twitter.
One grand prize winner will receive the following prize pack:
(1) Shirt
(1) Bong
(1) Visualization "Movie Tie-in" Book
(1) Novelization
(1) Signed Poster
But wait! FOUR runners-up will win a t-shirt, a poster, AND the coveted Cabin in the Woods bong. That's five chances to get your hands on the best (and arguably most useful) piece of movie swag to come along in a while. So hop to it, folks! Get your horror haiku on now.
[ED. NOTE: Due to site maintenance (including a commenting outage) Monday morning PT/afternoon ET, this contest will close earlier than originally expected. See details below.]
Contest closes Monday, April 16 at 5pm ET/2pm PT 12pm ET/9am PT. Entries must include an email address for contacting winners. Winner must be located in the U.S. Only one submission per person.
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Comments
Colored slips and bills fly
Screens of imminent doom reflected in eyes
Angry molesting tree doesn't win
Telescopic bong
Indents nightmare creatures skulls
Only cost five grand
Ancient wisdom says:
Go check out the basement, but
Don't read the Latin.
Zombies are coming!
We need to save ourselves now!
Better get the bong. 😉
Cabin in the Woods.
I love Cabin in the Woods.
Cabin in the Woods.
Mindless Zombie craze,
But then they start to evolve,
George A. Romero.
Marty was kinda high
But tolerance saved him
For his bong destroys
"Damn kids," mutters the
old man as they drive away.
"They'll come to no good."
If I could edit it I would change damn to damned. Better, don't you think?
Destruction of youth
Would be much more fun to watch
If it were a mer-man
On the life death feeds
it is four twenty
but the horror missing bong
send me new one please
The horror cliches,
Jock, Slut, Fool, Brains and Virgin.
And then they all die.
Puppet masters' game
There is murder in their eyes
Life will bring the end
Your worst fear is real.
I am sorry but it's true.
Killer Unicorn.
Recite old Latin.
Split the group up--for safety!
You're doing it wrong.
Horror Movies Can
Really Suck Sometimes But
Joss Whedon Kicks Ass
Fear takes over my Brian
As I lay dying in Blind Pain
My Blood Rage Evil Bane
The stoner's aware
A government corrupted
The ancients were right
Cabin in the Woods
Crazy Redneck Torture Zoms
No ones getting out
The night he came back
in Haddonfield, Illinois
No one will come home
A call from upstairs
The fool has yet to be killed
You just lost the game
Werewolves stalk Big Ben
One of them does not belong
From across the pond
A cabin party
Is great until zombies come
Better get the bong
Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Miiiiike!
Why are you in the corner?
Oops. I tripped. Credits.
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