Talkback: Can Someone Please Explain the Maxim Hot 100 to Me?

rosiewhiteleymaxim250.jpgDon't mind me, the perplexed, typing fruit in the corner, but what is this Maxim Hot 100? Just what is it? Who is ranking these nice women? Is 64 that much better than 87? Is Lindsay Lohan really the 38th hottest person alive? I remember her seeming parched and breathless in court. Is that hot? Do boys like dehydration? Why are the highest box-office draws of 2001 so prominently featured? And why is #1 an actress who has not yet been in a single movie, TV show, or Nelly video? Why, gents? Why?

Here's the Elite 20 of the Top 100 in all its slow-motion carwash glory:

20. Taylor Swift

19. Anna Kournikova

18. Eva Mendes

17. Megan Fox

16. Leighton Meester

15. Olivia Wilde

14. Scarlett Johansson

13. Kaley Cuoco

12. January Jones

11. Jordana Brewster (Gasoline Ali MacGraw)

10. Jennifer Lopez

9. Cobie Smulders

8. Natalie Portman

7. Anne Hathaway

6. Bar Refaeli

5. Mila Kunis

4. Cameron Diaz

3. Katy Perry

2. Olivia Munn

1. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Several points of order: January Jones gets 12th, but Christina Hendricks clocks in at (scrolling now) #56? Why two CBS sitcom leads in the Top 20? That is sort of strange. Are we still awed by Anna Kournikova? And finally, what is the point of putting Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the as-yet-voiceless star of the new Transformers movie, at the top of the list? Are we just rubbing her supremacy in Megan Fox's face? And during Passion Play's premiere week, no less!

I'm just confused. Feel free to enlighten me, dear friends.

· Maxim Hot 100 [Maxim]



Comments

  • Furious D says:

    It all boils down to who has the scariest publicist.

  • Callmefilmgeek says:

    I think Jordana Brewster looks kind of manish. In Fast Five her chiseled face was kind of freaking me out. Is that what men want, another man?

  • Jason Bines says:

    Olivia Munn is #2? Am I the only one who think she is a complete butter face? Average.

  • Bruce_F says:

    I was going to say ass-kissing publicist or favor-trading publicist but "scariest" also works.

  • The Winchester says:

    I kept getting a Langella-as-Skeletor vibe from her as the movie progressed.

  • Tommy Marx says:

    People magazine voted Jennifer Lopez the most beautiful person alive. While she is certainly a beautiful woman, her designation has to be one of the most random ever. Time magazine picked the Time 100 and, yes, chose some of the most random people ever. So surprise! Maxim magazine lists the 100 hottest women and the list is completely random.
    Magazines are dying. As a result, many of them are trying to create controversy, not in some scandalous way, but by creating lists (always a good bet) that have no rhyme or reason (to incite Internet comments). People, Time, Maxim, they desperately want to remain relevant. What's more relevant than creating lists and populating them with random choices to provoke conversations.
    I feel sorry they're failing in such a deliberately public way, but I feel angry that they've decided to publicize their desperation in such a blatantly obvious manner.
    Seriously, Jennifer Lopez as the most beautiful woman? Ten years after she stopped being relevant? And Rosie Huntington-Whitely as the hottest woman alive when she's a replacement for another actress in a movie franchise that is successful because of computer graphics, not nerd boys and hot chicks?
    Random. The desperate ploy of a dying media.

  • SunnydaZe says:

    A snake once talked a chick into eating an apple which she then shared with her boyfriend. As a result, everything got f*cked up. To punish women for this we like to put them in lists and use terms like butterface. Did that help?

  • Furious D says:

    With magazines it's all about the fear of a publicist denying the magazine their "big-money" clients if they don't butter up their "B-List."

  • Dimo says:

    A more interesting list would be comprised of which girls are not a complete pain in the ass.

  • pete says:

    Some of these women look like dudes-Johansson,Hathaway,Fox..Something is fishy here-and its not just Lohan's cooch-surprised Morticia Joile- was not put on here-though she makes me ill

  • NYCGuy says:

    Here's the skinny from someone who used to work at Maxim; it's not something they'll ever advertise. The magazine's subscription rates would be slashed to the bone if you cut out its biggest audience: inmates. You can't send porn to men in prison, but you can send Maxim.
    This also explains why it's written for a third grade reading level--oh, that and they let 19-year-old interns write because they pay crap. Whatever, the cons don't notice.

  • SunnydaZe says:

    Johansson, Hathaway, and Fox look like dudes???!!!! Do you live in West Hollywood?

  • SunnydaZe says:

    Well, that explains why Lohan is on the list.

  • anna says:

    Who cares? It's just a men's magazine list. And I didn't realize that people weren't allowed to find January Jones more attractive than Christina Hendricks. Not everyone finds big fake boobs a turn on.

  • Louis Virtel says:

    Truuuuth.

  • Brian says:

    Maxim's 100 becomes sillier each year. I have a feeling that payoffs (cash, "gifts", or favors) have a lot to do with placement on the list. My guess is that Paramount paid money to get Jason Statham's gf on at #1. Knowing Maxim, Paramount didn't have to pay much.
    Whiteley is at least hot, but how in the hell did Munn, Diaz, Meester, Smulders, and Jones make the top 100, much less the top 20? And wtf about Jordana Brewster? It has to be payola. At least they included Johansson, Fox, Kunis, and Wilde. They probably include a few actually hot women to retain some credibility.

  • cameron says:

    Are they fake?! Damn! I knew it was too good to be true 🙁
    The list is meaningless and the person who posted first is right on the money. It's all about the agents and publicists.

  • cameron says:

    The list is 'hottest women' not the 'hottest girls with boys figures'. Like it or not, to us men, Sofia Vegara, Christina Hendricks & Kim Kardashian (as long as their boobs are real) are argubly the hottest famous women. Kim is a distant third because Sofia and Christina have more class.

  • John M says:

    Nice try, jealous. Those ain't fake.

  • brad says:

    Okay, Christina.

  • G says:

    Boobs.

  • Anonymous says:

    Amanda Bynes & Miley Cyrus? Really?

  • Tenetria says:

    "Gasoline Ali MacGraw." LOL.
    Interesting to see Cameron Diaz (deservedly) holding on at #4. She might hold some kind of record for most years spent on men's magazine "hot lists." The Mask came out in 1994!

  • Captain says:

    I'll give you Olivia Munn and Cameron Diaz but Leighton Meester is a damn fine woman. The Transformer girl isn't even that hot. Clearly the marketing people paid them a ton of money to get the movie some buzz. Megan Fox is way hotter. I'd prefer to see Katie Cassidy, Sophia Bush and Kelly Monaco on the list but w/e.

  • Strawberry Pain says:

    You had me at "perplexed, typing fruit in the corner."