Gleebasing: Ruining Your Favorite '90s Hits, One Hammer at a Time

"If rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram," rapped Schue in last night's episode of Glee -- or, for those of you that have been paying attention to Will's subtle style transformation, last night's 60-minute Gap commercial. (Seriously, when will Schu & the Gang start remixing holiday jingles in khakis and striped scarves?) The latest Gleeinstallment, "Bad Episode Reputation," was important because it ruined all of the '90s hits you ironically love, found a use for Jonathan Groff that did not involve a giant cheeseburger costume and eked more feelings from Sue Sylvester. And, for the first time, Quinn's pregnancy showed! Click through to join me as I recap the highs of the lows, the lows of the lows and the hottest catch phrases that will not make you cooler with your niece and nephew. Pay attention -- there will be a pop quiz.

By now, you've realized that Glee soundtracks don't just drop from that giant gym locker in the sky. They are lovingly auto-tuned until the singers' voices are completely unrecognizable. And before that, the songs are carefully designed around a flimsy plot -- like last night's.

When Sue found out that the New Directions had posted a video of her jamming out to Olivia Newton John's "Physical" video online,she was steamed, and took the evidence to the principal, who threatened to punish the entire Glee club unless Schue could identify the culprit.

As expected, Schue's first order of business was distributing a Vanilla Ice song sheet to his class, who challenged him with the dance-fighting words, "This song should be arrested for the crime of sucking." Quick, somebody kick it. Schue's going to show everyone how flavorful these beats still are with another soft Schue rap performance.

Meanwhile, Sue Sylvester told Emma that Schue had been sleeping around on her OCD-addled ass. McKinley High students silently ridiculed Sylvester about her embarrassing video, until she was forced to make a heavy-handed realization about What Really Matters with the help of her Down syndrome sister. Rachel found herself in another love triangle while a roughly-drawn plot involving Hammer pants played out in the library. And Olivia Newton-John!

Now onto what really matters...

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