Gleebasing: Ruining Your Favorite '90s Hits, One Hammer at a Time

HIGH NOTES

· Rachel's rendition of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" with Puck, Finn and Jesse St. James at the ballet bar. Clearly the best song of the night -- even Monteith sounded great.

· Molly Shannon as Brenda Castle, the school's new astronomy teacher and badminton coach -- although, why does she, like Chenoweth's character, have to be an alcoholic?

· Any instance where Sue Sylvester slams her peers ("I may buy a small diaper for your chin because it looks like a baby's small ass.")

LOW NOTES

· Schue's classroom "Ice Ice Baby" number. Another instance of Harry Shum, Jr. being wasted.

· Any instance where Sue Sylvester parodies an actual music video (Olivia Newton-John, Madonna) or taps into her vulnerability.

· "U Can't Touch This" in the library...in Hammer pants. Enough said.

· Why haven't we seen Rachel's gay dads yet? Have Sean Hayes and Martin Short not been available the same week?

GLEESARY

Glist - (n.) A weekly ranking of Schue's glee club based on a hotness quotient of sexual promiscuity. You get a point for each act of perpetuated depravity.

World-class Banana Magnet - (n.) A whore (e.g. April Rhodes).

"As Menacing as Muppet Babies" - A phrase used to describe someone whose good reputation is very much intact.

POP QUIZ

1. Last year, Sue posted an online ranking of McKinley High's ten...

a) students most likely to become terrorists.

b) ugliest gingers.

c) highest suicide risks.

d) students with the highest BMIs.

2. According to Kurt, "What does a C-Lister do when their tiny star is about to fall off Perez Hilton's radar screen?"

a) Cause a scandal.

b) Get a DUI.

c) Plan a wardrobe malfunction on network television.

d) Offer an incest exclusive to Oprah.

3. Sue Sylvester offers to be Emma's new...

a) therapist.

b) personal trainer.

c) father figure.

d) OCD sponsor.

4. What was Rachel and Puck's couple's name?

a) Puckleberry

b) Ruck

c) Up-Chuck

d) Pachelle

5. How many times does Emma shout "Slut" in the teacher's lounge?

a) 2

b) 4

c) 5

d) 7

6. Which of these blatant advertisement were not featured in last night's episode?

a) American Idol

b) YouTube

c) Burger King

d) Apple

7. Which of these characters only got 20 seconds of screen time last night?

a) Principal Figgins

b) Ken Tanaka

c) Mercedes Jones

d) Santana Lopez

Homework Due Next Week: To paraphrase Schue, "It's time to start rehabilitating your bad reputation" and create an episode of Glee that redeems the second half of this season.

Answers: 1) b; 2) a; 3) a; 4) a; 5) c; 6) a and c; 7) b

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