How to Make Law & Order: Los Angeles Relevant: A TVLine IM Discussion
Only a couple weeks after S. Epatha Merkerson announced her departure from the pretty-much-deflated Law & Order, producer Dick Wolf appears to have a new L&O iteration for us. According to Deadline, NBC has picked up Law and Order: Los Angeles (aka LOLA) for a 13-episode order this fall. After a generation of arrest and prosecution, can we really handle another version of L&O, let alone one without the oaken timbre of Sam Waterston's voice? TVLine's instant-messaging monarchs are raring to prove we can -- in just a few steps:
Louis: Can we figure out how to make Law and Order: Los Angeles relevant? Help me, Julie!
Julie: This is lame -- but you must have Aimee Mann insult the rapper-turned-actor cast as the show's street-smart detective. I vote for Masta P. Master P? Master.
Louis: Master P's qualified. As for the Mariska/Angie Harmon part: Hmmmm. She needs to be a blast from the past who is the polar opposite of Master P. I want doe eyes.
Julie I see.
Louis: I am pleased to announce that Danica McKellar is available.
Julie: Yes on Danica. Master P's casting would also mean there could be an amazing guest-star stint by Romeo in the first season. I want to go ahead and cast Romeo as a foster child who allegedly molested and killed one of his foster sisters.
Louis: This is all so right and easy. Special Child Rappers Unit. But I'm worried about the format itself -- How are we going to improve upon or make interesting the cops-to-lawyers formula? Can we add another stage? Maybe there's a section in between where Danica goes over the entire case in a bedroom mirror monologue? And in the season closer... she PUNCHES the mirror. (Difficult case concerning her first gymnastics coach.)
Julie: Would that happen every episode?
Julie: I'm taking every part of this conversation seriously. But the only way this show could be a step-up from the other Law & Orders on television right now is if they brought back Vincent D'Onofrio. I'm sorry, but that is literally the. only. option.
Louis: I like the idea of a veteran jumping aboard with a Richard Belzer-esque crossover.
Julie: "When Detective Robert Goren is transferred to the LA Unit..." Anyway, anyway.
Louis: Yes, that's it! I also think LA needs to have a certain pull on the proceedings. I have an idea: What if the cops auditioned for TV cameos during their off-time? "There's been a murder -- and I'm playing a disapproving bartender in Accidentally on Purpose."
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