Project Runway Recap: If I Bought a Hammer

Project Runway returned from the ether this week with a challenge that baited the toolshed demographic -- and not just because Jesse was prominently featured! (Guh-her.) The ten remaining designers used hardware supplies to construct their look, but more impressively, Tim Gunn did not take a circular saw to his own dainty wrists. This man is bored. I make it all entertaining after the jump.

As the episode starts, Emilio gets 10 confessionals in under three minutes, and that sets off my "Heidi's Going to Hate You" meter -- and yours too! He says the competition is half over but does not acknowledge his train conductor hat. No one trusts that. The talented Jay Nicholas comments that he must knock off seven more designers before he reaches the top three, and I bet he'll achieve that. It all depends at what time Seth Aaron hits rigor mortis.

On the runway, Heidi is both cryptic and transparent.

"Go find Tim!" she caws. "He's going to take you to meet... one of America's favorite dee-zign-uhzs."

The contestants give each other the "It's Michael stupid Kors, I know it" grimace, and before long, Tim's leading them down the streets of New York. Seconds later, they enter Michael Kors' shop.

"Hello, arguably-designers," Michael says. "Did Tim drive you here? His learner's permit is expired. It's just not safe! Anyway, today, instead of shopping at Mood, you'll be buying supplies at... a hardware store. Ooh la la. Shut up. The question is: How many nellies here know what a hardware store is? A show of hands? Yep. That looks about right. In addition, you must make a special accessory, because our guest judge this week only understands accessories. Keep that blowhard in mind."

Michael gives Tim directions to the ACE across the street. The designers pour in and start snatching up sandpaper, copper sheets, wiring, washers, and metallic supplies. Maya, who did not show at fashion week, comes up with a brilliant idea for a necklace: a key-bedazzled thing with mesh underlay and silvery embellishment. It's a little Desperately Seeking Susan, but she's not outfitting anyone in a pyramid-emblazoned coat just yet. We're on the right side of 1985, and it feels like home.

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  • Victor Ward says:

    This episode caused me to have a twitter breakdown even larger than the one I had the day Tyra Banks announced she was ending her talk show career.
    The end result is just that I'm going to zazzle the hell out of an "I blame Marie Claire" bumper sticker and then moving on, but it was really a painful process to get to that resolution.
    Oh, and I'm referring to Emilio as "Emilio Pepper" going forward.

  • stolidog says:

    Is that model in the truckstop fishnet just Zac Efron in a Bonnie Tyler wig?

  • OldTowneTavern says:

    Emilio has done better things all season and that must be what saved him because that "ghetto dreamcatcher" (good call, Virtel) aspires to hot mess.