Movieline Counterpoint: How To Make A Second Season Of Jersey Shore Work

A little while ago, my esteemed Movieline colleague Louis Virtel made the case that MTV's The Jersey Shore should take the opportunity provided by a reported contractual standstill to jettison the cast and replace them with a new lineup, arguing that a fresh Guido infusion is necessary to save the show's second season from repetition, disappointment and mediocrity. And to him I say: Whoa, pump the brakes, bro! (Then I pause, lift my shirt, and with a flourish of my hand across my stomach, warn, "We've got a situation right here," before realizing that the presentation of a pasty, distended belly doesn't do much for the thrust of my argument. Anyway.) Before we rashly abandon the pop-culture megastars MTV has worked so hard to cultivate, let's offer up some ways that we can make Season Two work with the original cast intact. After the jump, some attempts to Save The Shore:

The Fish-Out-Of-Water Solution: The Shore On The Vineyard

The point that a second season of The Shore actually back at The Shore, populated by the same crew of lovable, Corinthian-leather-hued lugs, is well taken; been there, done that, got the "I Went To The Jersey Shore And All I Got Was This Raging Case of Pinkeye And This Crazy-Ass Thing On My Junk That Maybe My Doctor Should Look At?" t-shirt. So in classic fish-out-of-water fashion, we could pluck The Situation, Snooki and the gang out of their boardwalk-dwelling comfort zone and them plop them down on Martha's Vineyard, counting on the inevitable culture-clash between the Gym/Tan/Laundry set and the Brunch/Golf/Sail blue-bloods to produce the electric drama previously generated only by drunk Jersey locals pilfering the wrong Guido's tequila shots. Watch Ronnie cold-cock a summering, third-generation Harvard alumn for slipping Sammi his digits! Gasp as Snooki, having once again "forgotten" to wear panties, flashes her freshly depilated schnickers while doing a cartwheel in a too-short, neon tennis skirt! Pull for the gang as they prepare the yacht they've been tasked with crewing for the summer, The Lazy Angelina, for a big race against of their snooty, sweater-vested tormentors! Buzz-building adventure and clip-friendly conflict await on The Vineyard.

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