The True Blood Jewelry Collection: A Movieline Shopping Guide

Mark: Then you're in luck, because that's the price of Leather Cuff with Large Silver Studs, or Leather Cuff with Small Silver Studs. You have stud-related options here. If large studs are too flashy, you can opt for the more restrained, smaller studs. It depends on how Butch-Eric you're looking to go with your studs.

Seth: Which is more appropriate for the A Formal Evening for True Blood Fans soiree I'll be soon attending at the Burbank Marriott?

Mark: I'd go with the smaller studs.

Seth: Done.

Mark: But! You might consider a PAIR of cuffs. Symmetry is in.

Seth: Hmmm....no shirt, silver bowtie, could work...

Mark: So that will run your nearly $400. Totally worth it, IMHO. Hold on. Are you going as Eric or a Vampire Chippendale?

Seth: Plus whatever the foil highlights will cost...

Mark: Foil highlights not included, I assume. Though that's not explicit on the site. I have to say, if you're really looking to make a splash, you might want to upgrade the leather to the Stainless Steel Multi-Chain Arm Band with Rubies. And it's a unisex item!

Seth: That would look good on Jason Stackhouse.

Mark: Isn't it a little too bold for him? Stackhouse types don't seem to me like ones to go with wrist-armor.

Seth: True, and it might rust while receiving bathtub handjobs from reverends' wives.

Mark: And we certainly wouldn't want the reverends' wives wearing it for that purpose. A cheese-grater effect could occur. Painful. But I have to say, $399 is quite reasonable for such a beautifully constructed piece.

Seth: Again, I don't know why, but I keep coming back to the words Lafayette Signature Genital Constraint Collection with most of these pieces.

Mark: There seems to be that inspiration running through much of the line, I agree. But in the classiest way possible. We're talking about jewelry inspired by premium cable's most successful show. When I look at those pieces, I don't think something out of a case in the back room at Rough Trade. I think, something sitting on a satin pillow at Vampire Tiffany's. That you'll take home in a blue box (with blood red accents).

Seth: I agree. HBO-series-inspired jewelry collections have evolved by leaps and bounds since the days of John From Cincinnati pukashellwear.

Mark: Which was surprising wearable, if tragically downmarket.

Seth: And the Six Feet Under line of funeral accessories.

Mark: The HBO-endorsed products do turn out so much better than the opportunistic knockoffs. Like Gay Vito's pool cue.

Seth: That was just cynical -- but surprisingly well made. I use mine regularly!

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