Mad Men Power Rankings, Week Six: 'One Minute You're On Top Of The World, And The Next Some Secretary's Running You Over With A Lawnmower'
5. Betty (up) Last week: 6
"Oh, hey, Sally. Um, here, open this? It's a present from Baby Gene! You know, the brother you hate because you think he's possessed by your grandpa. It's a Barbie! Which is also probably possessed by Grandpa Gene, so if you throw it out the window onto the front lawn, it'll find its way back onto your dresser, mocking your fear. OK, great! My terrible parenting duties are done until next week, when I'll accidentally let you bring a BB gun to school to shoot that bruiser Becky Pierson in her ass, because I was too busy having a cigarette and looking sad to notice you were armed. Good night, honey, and don't mind the Barbie if she starts talking about all the Prussians she killed in the war."
6. Pete Campbell (down) Last week: 5
Ladies and gentlemen, Pete Campbell! "One more promotion and we're gonna be answering phones." Let's get Bitter Pete a dress, a desk outside Bertram Cooper's office, and a princess phone and make it happen!
7. Joan Holloway (even) Last week: 7
Oh, Joan. Poor, poor Joan. Tragic, tragic Joan. Not only is her poorly chosen husband a rapist, but he "has no brains in his fingers." His career died with those words from his mentor, and so did her hopes of living the care-free existence of a surgeon's wife. "You're still a doctor, right?" she asked, stunned, semi-supportively. "I married you for your heart, not your hands." Those hands with no finger-brains, no future. Sad, sad Joan. We only want the best for you, a life that's all red accordions and perfect dinner parties and low-plunging necklines. (OK, maybe that last part is what's best for us. But still, we feel for Joan. We really do.)
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Comments
A slow clap for each and every one of these beauties, although we would've had words if the lawnmower wasn't ranked this week!
And that really was an inspiring piece of fanfic for lil Sally there.
If Lois doesn't deserve a power ranking this week, no one does! Except, of course, for Sally. Sadly, I think Lois can finally be added to the "exiting" section.
I haven't enjoyed a televised moment so much since Bush ducked the shot.
Er, shoe.
Phew, I've spent all morning trying to remember what Joan said to Don in the waiting room - I knew it was something wry and understated. Hmmm, but is she leaving Sterling Cooper? Can such a thing even be contemplated?
I said this over at the AV club, and I meant it: I can't believe my favorite part of watching Mad Men now is to find out what the Fingerbang Threat Level will be the next day.
I knew Sally asked for that nightlight for a reason. Baby Gene, I'd watch out.
The power rankings & finger bang threat are perhaps some of the funniest stuff on the internet. Even enough to make one look forward to Mondays! I don't know what I'm going to do on Mondays in between seasons of Mad Men!
Awesome in every way.
my ovaries combusted in that last scene with don and his kids.
what a great episode, the foot scene was fantastic in so many ways, i cant find words to describe it.
i love MM power rankings!
Pretty funny how Joan tended to the 'Guy's' blood gushing toes with concise action. I guess she has brains in her fingers. 😉
This is completely true, thanks for having my evening just a little more tolerant.