Mad Men Power Rankings, Week Six: 'One Minute You're On Top Of The World, And The Next Some Secretary's Running You Over With A Lawnmower'

Don Draper Fingerbang Threat Level: Medium

It was almost as if Don were consciously holstering his deadly, conflicted-pleasure-giving fingertips, knowing that a week down the line, he'd likely need them well-rested to administer a proper, grim digital penetration, should Miss Farrell suddenly return to collect on the boozy IOU she issued him over the phone, or should a comely realtor on his presumed house-hunting trip in Notting Hill need to learn a hard lesson about negotiating Draper-style. And so the Threat Level quiets from last week's screaming "Penetration Imminent!", all-banging-fingers-on-deck siren, to a mere "Medium" this time. Though there seemed to be the possibility that an offended Don might hoist the presumptuous Connie onto the desk in his Presidential Suite and give him a taste of what he'd do to every last front-desk clerk, linen-proferring maid, and high-end, lounge-dwelling prostitute in the entire Hilton chain should he dare to ask for free work again, the real danger was -- briefly, tantalizingly -- to Sterling Cooper's most beloved female employee. As Don and Joan sat in the hospital, awaiting word on the status of Guy McKendrick's foot, they shared a moment. And maybe that moment was one of genuine mutual regard, heightened by Joan's imminent departure from the office. But maybe that moment was one where two ticking sex-bombs sat next to each other in that waiting room, ready to be detonated by the hand Don casually draped over the seat back between them (right in the middle of the frame!). Maybe, maybe. But not in an episode where a guy's foot was sliced off by a drunk secretary on a f*cking lawnmower.

2. Roger Sterling (even) Last week: 2

What's that you say? How can Roger possibly hold his position at the number two slot in a week where he suffered the indignity of having his name left completely off Guy McKendrick's flow-chart, even though his name is right there on the f*cking wall? Because Roger, cornered, is going to come out swinging. "I'm rich, they can't hurt me," sniffed Roger, hurt. "I'm being punished for making my job look easy," boasted Roger, injured. But then here's what Roger did: By wiggling his foot during his manicure and off-handedly mentioning he's "thinking about my toes" right now, he placed a curse on McKendrick's now-doomed piggly-wigglys, even though the Brits had not yet arrived and Guy had not yet left him off that flow-chart. He sensed the threat to come and acted accordingly. That's true power. That's our Rog. (And also, he had a great line about polishing the Brits' knobs. So Roger!)

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