As much as I hate the movie theater talkers, cell phone texters, loud popcorn-chewers, backseat-kickers, nervous leg-jigglers, smelly food-eaters, and armchair hogs who combine evil forces to make going to the movies these days a distracting, living hell, I stop myself short of physical violence when it comes to laying down the law of theater etiquette. Which is what one enraged theater patron in the Seattle area did not do when he caught a case of theater rage and slapped an offending movie talker in the face. Making matters worse: The talker was a ten-year-old kid.
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There's nothing more enraging to me as a moviegoer than that dreaded moment when, in the middle of a movie, the unmistakable, un-ignorable glow of a cell phone screen cuts through the glorious darkness in my field of vision and takes me out of the viewing experience. Texting, sexting, checking emails, Tweeting -- I don't care what your excuse is, it's not okay to ruin everyone else's experience by using your phone (or talking or shaking the entire row of seats with your nervous-boredom knee jiggle or letting your stank feet air out in the aisles or snoring, you selfish prick.) So why would theater owners or studio heads, whose job it is to deliver an enjoyable movie-going experience to their paying customers, ever even entertain the notion of allowing or encouraging texting in a movie theater?
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