It's Backstory Download Time on True Blood! Want to know what Sookie really is? What about Crystal, or Jesus? How about something Sam was doing in 2003 -- want to see that? It's an expositional smorgasbord, and we've got it tallied for sex and violence.
Sad news for the roughly 115,000 loyal followers of the hilarious Twitter feed written from the perspective of HBO's #1 washed-up major leaguer Kenny Powers: The network is in no way associated with @KF*CKINGP, and for the first time, Danny McBride has addressed the convincing impostor (last tweet: "I never had a rookie card because I was never considered a f*cking rookie") who is ripping off his Eastbound & Down character.
As someone who once purchased the Criterion Collection edition of The Rock, it's hard for me to complain about how people spend their disposable (and geeky) income, but: Man. Bids flew fast and furious at this weekend's infamous Lost auction, and some -- like the $15,000 spent on the pilot script signed by J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof -- seemed reasonable. Others, though... well, let's just say perhaps a bit of buyer's remorse is happening at this very moment. Ahead, the five biggest overbids from the Lost auction.
Last night was the annual "Drink Vile Concoctions" competition for Big Brother houseguests, and after throwing back mystery shots, contestants put on their best poker faces and waited for their competitors to guess who had just ingested the nasty clam juice and cupcake-flavored sludge. Per usual, Lane handled the challenge with his characteristic stoicism, Matt whimpered, and Ragan "channeled his Inner Lady Gaga" to guarantee his most over-the-top performance yet. Now let's see whose behavior last night was more repulsive than the shots they were forced to swill.
The Japanese are coming! It should be cause for celebration at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, but instead served as the trigger for an epic orgy of scheming, loathing and throat-slashing agita -- just the way we like our mid-season Mad Men. That it entitles Roger Sterling to some of his most historic one-liners is merely a bonus. Let's break it down.
Also in this morning's TV Bites (if that headline didn't make you want to jump off a bridge): Conan O'Brien's writing staff isn't happy... Britney Spears and Glee may duet again... and more ahead.
Did you read about those scientists who just created a synthetic life form in the lab? Don't these guys watch movies? Maybe they missed Splice, but David Cronenberg's The Fly should not be overlooked on cable this weekend, for a stomach-acidy dose of what can happen when you toke around with alleles and recombinative genes and shit like that. Plus: Paul Newman, Mel Gibson, Paul Robeson and Isabelle Huppert in a power suit...
Kids in the Hall try the miniseries treatment on IFC this evening. Can you tear yourself away from Tavis Smiley and Flashpoint to enjoy some north-of-the-border, Lorne Michaels-approved comics?
Fancy hats! Do they make you want to sew dresses? Heidi Klum thinks they should. She wheeled out fancy-hat-maker Philip Treacy, and he is quite serious about how inspirational his work is. Did the designers pull through? We better make fun of their dumb ideas to find out.
Movieline is resurrecting our favorite pastime: interviewing fallen Project Runway contestants and making them talk trash about their competitors. Today we meet Kristin Haskins Simms, the 39-year-old Philadelphia native who Heidi Klum auf'd because of an ill-fitting black-and-pink gown.
...Hopefully, you were heading to your local bomb shelters or apocalypse-proof hideaways, because the team behind Access Hollywood has just announced that it will slowly roll out Access Hollywood Live in syndication on September 13. The spin-off will be hosted by Billy Bush and venerable Road Rules alum Kit Hoover and boast all of the same brain-numbing celebrity gossip and kitschy patter of the original Access Hollywood, but live! [THR]
'Breaking Up,' the name of this week's Jersey Shore episode, is easy to do -- or at least easier when Ronnie's calling you a bitch and getting humpity with barn animals at every club in Miami. But of course, Sammi's still in the dark about Ronnie's devious actions, which makes this week's Fresh-to-Death Report Card a real study in class and morals (as always, I mean). Grades are posted after the jump!
Because airing grievances on Twitter is what all showrunners do nowadays, here's Steve Levitan. The veteran television producer -- who currently helps run the hit that is Modern Family -- used his Twitter feed this week to tear down not only Hulu, but the entire way television ratings are judged in general. Funny story: he's got a point.
Remember back in 2006 when Rush Limbaugh came under fire for imitating the tremors that afflicted Michael J. Fox during a televised political ad for stem cell research, suggesting that Fox had exaggerated his Parkinson's Disease symptoms for show? Well, now it looks like Fox will be engaging in his own game of Rush Limbaugh role-play, and it could even win him an Emmy.
For viewers keeping score at home, this season's Big Brother contestants have already displayed the most abhorrent behavior in the history of the U.S. series. One contestant lied about his wife having a fatal illness to garner pity in the house, another two houseguests strategized a shower jerk-off session like they were invading Panama, and another houseguest constructed a love message to her honey using Rold Gold Pretzels. Which loathsome castmembers managed to trump themselves in last night's episode?
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