Last night's episode of Jersey Shore was called "The Letter," much like that annoying Joe Cocker song everyone keeps singing on American Idol. JWOWW and Snooki used their best ALL CAPS warning to alert Sammi of Ronnie's "true pig" ways, but were they successful? Let's break it down using the fairest rubric of all: the Fresh-to-Death Report Card.
Movieline was quick to recognize the most egregious Emmy nomination snubs last month, and in the same spirit, we feel it is our duty to prepare you for the five most surprising (yet entirely plausible) shake-ups that could occur at Sunday's ceremony* and possibly incite someone to set fire to his or her office poll during your red carpet-themed viewing party.
*Which, by the way, Movieline will be attending and live-blogging. The Emmy ceremony that is, not your party -- but that sounds like fun too.
While arguing his case before last night's surprise double eviction, Enzo stood before his houseguests while wearing a penguin costume and solemnly said, "This is not a joke." Then he proceeded to wish his wife a happy anniversary, tell "Baby G back home" that he missed her and thank the houseguest who had given him the best "fade" (translation: haircut) in the Big Brother house. And then, the houseguests voted to keep Enzo in the house! This is reality television, folks. Click through to see which repulsive contestants made the Index this time.
Before going on vacation, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert addressed Glenn Beck's upcoming Restore Honor rally, which will take place on the same date and the same place where Martin Luther King delivered his famous "I Have a Dream" speech. Elsewhere on late night, Christina Applegate remembered seeing Justin Long naked, Charlie Day discussed his upcoming nude scene with Jennifer Aniston and David Letterman forced Anne Heche to revisit her soap opera days.
Also in this morning's TV Bites: Terra Nova finds a female lead... American Idol never used Auto-Tune... Chuck chokes on more nostalgia... and very slightly more ahead.
What does Sammi do after Snooki and JWOWW give her valuable information about her horseplayin' housemate Ron Ron? We find out on tonight's Jersey Shore. Elsewhere on the tube: Project Runway gets intense, Big Brother gets results, and M. Night Shyamalan thrills you in the dark.
Blame it on the especially slow news cycle or the public's twisted fascination with Jersey Shore-related trivia, but Us Weekly has summoned Snooki to list 25 things the everyday plebe may not know about her. Among Movieline HQ's favorites: "I love oldies music," "My cat, Rocky, is my best friend, and I would die for him," "I collect coasters from restaurants (LOL)," "Thunderstorms intrigue me, yet scare the hell out of me," "I collect rocks," and "I can't eat soup without lots of grated cheese in it." Who can, Snooks? [Us]
David Yost, who played nerdy triceratops commander Billy on the '90s kids show Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, revealed that he left the series because he was "called 'f*ggot' one too many times [by the show's] creators, producers, writers, directors." He added that he became "worried that I might take my own life." Sad. Arguably, if Yost had come out with this confessional during the run of the show, some of Rita Repulsa's most destructive anti-gay initiatives could have been derailed. [TMZ]
In case you were not clear why the Repulsion Index is a fitting recap for Big Brother, let me just explain that in last night's episode, producers handcuffed Britney to her sworn enemy for 24 hours and subjected the bound couple to hourly chum baths. Let's see how that horror show, along with last night's POV competition -- which caged each of the houseguests like they were wild animals -- shook up the Index.
Abstinence advocate Bristol Palin has reportedly agreed to participate in the upcoming season of ABC's Dancing with the Stars, which means that the 19-year-old single mother and daughter of Sarah Palin will be competing against Jersey Shore's staunchest smooshing advocate and most fervent grenade protester Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. ABC will officially announce the cast live during the August 30 episode of Bachelor Pad. [E!]
TBS may not have figured out a title for Conan O'Brien's new show, but they have found multiple ways to promote the network's most anticipated fall premiere without demanding the star's actual participation. The network has already given Conan's likeness an old-timey makeover, claymated him and now, in their most daring marketing move yet, they are presenting his trademark pompadour on a showroom floor (or rotating platter?), for you, dear viewers.
Pop quiz: You attempted suicide two weeks ago and are looking to set the record straight about what led to swallowing that entire bottle of Advil. Which late-night show do you choose as the appropriate afterhours forum to somberly discuss your depression? Answer: If you're Fantasia Barrino, you pick the only program marketed as a block party with unlimited chola jokes. But there was fun to be had elsewhere while George Lopez counseled Fantasia on the pressures of fame... Drew Barrymore talked about her There's Something About Mary moment, Christina Applegate discussed her pregnancy rage and Stephen Colbert introduced his new university.
Also in this morning's TV Bites: George Clooney and Julianna Margulies will stage another ER reunion... the cast of Community loves Infiniti... Raging Bull, the TV series?... and more ahead.
We're just four days away from the Emmys, and we have two big categories to address. First, let's break down the odds for all six Outstanding Comedy Series nominees: Is Glee equipped to overtake 30 Rock, and what about a crowd-pleasing favorite like Modern Family?
Late Show host and quintuple bypass survivor David Letterman will join the ladies of The View on September 7 to help welcome Barbara Walters back from heart surgery herself. "Welcome Back Barbara Week" (mark it on your calendars!) will also feature musical numbers, personal video messages from celebrities, medical segments about heart surgery and a school of prehistoric piranhas that feast on the flesh of daytime personalities who sit on yellow couches. Well, most of that is true. [ABC]
FILM NEWS 
