In the preceding picture, a well-oiled debutante promises to save feudal Japan using only her mid-air swashbuckling skills and a sherbet-colored kimono. Her shiny Party City costume? It's yours for $39.99! $19.99 after October 31! $4.99 after it is deemed extremely flammable by inspectors. So what gives? Who is this kabuki sorceress, and why do we care? Hint: She's smiling without her eyes at least once here.
We've got our first Leno casualty, and it isn't pretty: The NBC cop drama Southland, which premiered to good ratings in the ER time slot last spring, has been canceled. Yes, that's before its already-delayed second season (for which the show has already completed six episodes) has even premiered. You're going to want to read the excuse for this one, and THR has it:
more »
It is never a good thing when one of the most anticipated fictional weddings of our time is also the most boring. Tonight, after six seasons of Jim and Pam's humdrum courtship, Dunder Mifflin's golden boy and golden girl make it official during The Office's hour-long matrimonial event. As Jim and Pam (a.k.a Jam) fans spent the engagement perusing the couple's fictional wedding website (complete with fake registry), wallpapering their bedrooms in Entertainment Weekly photo spreads and posting messages on Facebook's Jim and Pam group page ("I will cry at the wedding." "I live vicariously through jim and pam."), Movieline assembled a photo chronology of the couple's boremance.
more »
America's most famous TV doctor was sued yesterday by a former female patient who claimed that during a therapy session two years ago, Dr. Phil trapped her in his office, brainwashed her, forced her to look at a naked man, and continued to grope her. The alleged victim, Shirley Dieu, is also suing Paramount Pictures, the company that produces his show. Dieu released a statement yesterday: "I don't want the limelight. I want the limelight on Dr. Phil for what he did. I don't even care about money." At least this gives Letterman more sex scandal material for his monologue jokes. [E! Online]
Yesterday, BET announced an eight-part docu-series starring Michael Vick, the disgraced NFL quarterback who served 18 months in prison on federal dogfighting charges. The press statement was immediately met by outcries of disgust and revulsion that a television network would "reward" Vick with a contract. Still, if we've learned anything from cable's treatment of famous criminals (MTV's Road to Redemption: 45 Days To Go), it's that they will get reality shows. The only thing strange about BET's Untitled Michael Vick Project is its late timing.
more »
CBS dramas NCIS: Los Angeles and The Good Wife have been picked up for full seasons following strong ratings on the network's Tuesday night block. The quick renewals were expected, thanks both to those ratings successes and to CBS drama viewers, who have long accepted nothing but quirky detectives and harried middle-aged women looking to make right in this world. Other expected fast renewals include ABC's FlashForward, Modern Family, and Cougar Town, which fulfill that network's need to vindicate the memories of Eli Stone, Step by Step, and Cashmere Mafia, respectively. [EW]
Last week we re-established that The Hills is fake and rather than waste everyone's time with frame by frame analysis of Spencer's latest insult or Kristin's scripted flirtations, we'll draw your attention to two moments in the episode that ring truest and fakest of the fake. To find out who won the Real/Fake jackpot in last night's episode, join us after the jump.
Unlike most cultures, America looks to reality television contestants for stories of hope -- and this season of Top Model is more inspirational than a Tony Robbins-Amy Grant double bill. A bunch of shmodels* from various Rust Belt and California towns are still in the running to be a 5'7" or less model, but it's the slim, symmetrically-featured girls everywhere who are the real winners. We never thought the day would come, but it's finally acceptable to be beautiful and only have slightly above average height.
*Short models.
While CBS ratings may have benefited from David Letterman's admission of interoffice romances last week, the National Organization for Women is urging the network to recognize Letterman's "abuse of power" and "take action immediately to rectify this situation." The feminist organization released a statement yesterday, criticizing the Late Show host's "objectification of women in the workplace," a strong sentiment that concluded on a defeated note: "With just two women on CBS' board of directors, we're not holding our breath." [CNN]
This fall, ABC unveiled four new series designed to refocus the Walt Disney network on family-friendly programming while establishing a brand of comedy that could directly rival NBC's Thursday night line-up. The most anticipated of ABC's new shows, Modern Family, premiered two weeks ago as the lynchpin in the network's brand new Wednesday Comedy Night and immediately stomped out its mockumentary competition, The Office and Parks & Recreation in ratings.
Two months ago, at the mythic Television Critics Association event, we spoke to Modern Family's co-creator Steven Levitan about pitching comedies via PowerPoint, the stresses of working on such a buzzed program and the surprising advantages of shooting a mockumentary-style. Levitan, who has written for, executive produced or directed (or all of the above) The Critic, The Larry Sanders Show, Just Shoot Me, Frasier and most recently, Back To You, obliged us by sharing which networks wanted his latest project and wisely predicting that even with the critics' favor on his side, there are always "new mistakes to make."
During last night's edition of Tom Bergeron Can't Even Conceal His Resentment Dancing with the Stars, America sent home Beethoven tormentor Debi Mazar -- and former Republican House Majority Leader Tom Delay withdrew from the competition due to stress fractures in both of his feet. That puts a significant stress fracture in (sigh) my feelings. While Mya may have out-sashayed him and Donny Osmond may have outclassed him, Tom Delay's brief DWTS career provided enough jive-ass Republican fun for an entire season of 24.
Apparently enough time had elapsed since Michael Jackson's death that a cheeky comic tribute to him and the Jackson 5 seemed in good taste. At least it seemed that way a troupe of Aussie TV performers, who rounded out last night's performance as the "Jackson Jive" in full-on blackface. The crowd ate it up, but an American judge who knew better ground the show to a halt until somebody apologized. Video after the jump.
more »
· I'm not sure whose idea it was to make a YouTube montage dedicated to pictures of an oft-barechested David Caruso looming over terrified women, then eating their faces (and scored to Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl," because why not), but I would be lying if I said it hasn't transfixed half of the people at Movieline HQ today. Next up in YouTube montages nobody ever asked for: a tribute to character actor David Paymer scored with "Sex Bomb" by Tom Jones, and a "slashfic" video featuring Martin and Eddie from Frasier (with Nine Inch Nails' "Animal" blaring in the background). The strangely compelling clip, after the jump:
more »
In a poll conducted by Askmen.com, readers have chosen Don Draper as the most influential man of 2009 -- yes, that Don Draper, Jon Hamm's 1960s ad man who coasts through Mad Men while cheating on his wife, changing his name, uttering horrible secrets about his (and your) childhood, and gently warming his kids to the idea of patricide. Now, you're wondering: What can be the benefit of admiring this sociopath when we already trust the teachings of Dexter, The Joker, and Roald Dahl? AskMen has the not-even-joking explanation after the jump.
more »
Fall Pilot Season '09 is rapidly drawing to a close, and having already sated the cancellation gods with Ashton Kutcher's sacrificial CW series, The Beautiful Life, it is only a matter of a few crummy Nielsen numbers before networks start mercy-killing their latest rating weaklings. Fortunately for us, TVbytheNumbers released its annual cancellation forecast this afternoon, based on their seasoned Renew/Cancel Index. So let's take a look at the programs, new and old, that are already falling away from the pack and risking death before May 2010.
FILM NEWS 