Ladies and gentlemen, it is Iron Man 2 promotion week, which means that Scarlett Johannson will tell a thousand interviewers about the diet and fitness regime she underwent to fit into her Natasha Romanoff catsuit. And Mickey Rourke will tell tales from his upcoming memoir, My Day in a Russian Prison. You want a Russian prison story -- about ping pong, bakeries, sex tattoos -- Mickey's got them all. Click through for his latest, and the other highlights you missed last night while spending your first night in a far less exotic American prison.
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I had a huge viewing breakthrough as I watched last night's V, cringing while I cataloged the Fifth Column missteps that I've come to expect. And actually, only a slight change of perception helped draw the alien-invasion drama out of its unique mash-up of Battlestar Galactica-style ethical dilemmas and, frankly, wholly original studies in idiotic characters (whose decisions fly in the face of everything logical on Earth): Maybe this show would make a better comedy. Let me explain.
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Talk about From Here to Eternity -- watching American Idol's final five slay Frank Sinatra hits felt like riding the local through Hoboken. If the endless commercial breaks weren't filling the run-time, it was the slow performances and relentless quips from aspiring quadruple threat Harry Connick Jr. (That's singer/actor/composer/jokester to you!) making us day-snore. Fortunately, the night boasted some great moments in three key performances. Match your rankings against ours and pray that season nine's best singer isn't eliminated tonight.
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· File this under odd television projects: The Game Show Network is teaming up with the Jim Henson Company for a raunchy game show called Late Night Liars. The comedy will be hosted by Larry Miller and will feature two human contestants competing somehow against four "celebrity puppets" who enjoy cocktails and decidedly adult humor. In case you were wondering, the puppets' names are Shelley Oceans, William A. Mummy, Cashmere Ramada and Sir Sebastian Simian. The series premieres June 10. [The Wrap]
Debra Winger finds a television shrink, the Lost finale monster grows another half hour, and more TV Bites after the jump.
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There have only been two American Idol seasons where a foregone conclusion actually came to pass -- seasons three and four, when Fantasia Barrino and Carrie Underwood exacted pitch-perfect ascents to the Idol coronation ceremony. Since then, we've had some sneaky wunderkinds weasel their way to the top: Kris Allen and his acoustic turnabouts won season eight; Jordin Sparks and her youthful trills toppled Melinda Doolittle in season six. And now, in season ten, Casey James could be on his way to derailing the long-favored Crystal Bowersox. Sound crazy? Not when you consider why voters go to pick up the phone.
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Clutch your bandanna bead rosary and sing the Poison gospel ("Every Rose Has Its Thorn"), because Bret Michaels has been released from the hospital. Dr. Joseph Zabramski, who has been treating Michaels since the Celebrity Apprentice contestant suffered a brain hemorrhage two weeks ago, confirmed the news from a press conference held at St. Joseph's Hospital in Phoenix. What's the glam rocker's full prognosis?
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And now, a cautionary tale for all the aspiring blackmailers out there. Robert "Joe" Halderman, the former CBS producer who tried to shake down David Letterman for $2 million, started his 6 month jail sentence today. Halderman pled guilty to attempted grand larceny in March and agreed to complete 1,000 hours of community service as part of his punishment. [AP]
But first, some poetry:
Let's get animal, animal
I wanna get animal
Let's get into animal
Let me hear your body talk
Let me hear your body talk
Sound familiar? It's from one of the top ten singles of the 1980s. And someone will sing it at your kids tonight.
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Don't look now, but there are only a few more hours of Lost left before the series finale. Does the show have enough time left to answer all the questions it's posed since the very first season, and do the producers even want to? In advance of tonight's episode, "The Candidate," Movieline rounded up 15 burning questions Lost still has yet to resolve.
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Last night, the Real Housewives of New Jersey returned for their second season, proving once again that they are the stars of Bravo's Housewives franchise. After all, which other city boasts known mob connections, lessons from the old country ("You are not allowed to make red sauce when on your period because it'll spoil the tomatoes.") and catchphrases like "You put the c*nt in c*ntridiction?" Come on! So pull up a chair to Movieline's industrially reinforced dining room table -- we are not risking another flip this season -- as we pluck the truest and fakest moments from last night's episode, "Water Under the Table."
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Last Sunday, Conan O'Brien used his first contractually-permitted television interview in months to relive his traumatic Tonight Show shakedown. Scarred, Coco did his best to not badmouth NBC or Jay Leno outright, instead using phrases like "I would not have done that if positions were reversed." In fact, the comedian only really lobbed two accusations NBC's way, allowing the rest of his heartbreak to go unspoken -- er, spoken by his wife Liza. Unsatisfied, NBC sources placed an anonymous call this morning to clear up a few lingering issues.
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Waltzes and quicksteps! So... horribly dorky. Luckily, Dancing with the Stars countered the schmaltz by sticking Lady Gaga karaoke and disco-stick rides at the end of the show. And of course, Bruno Tonioli almost suffered massive heart attacks after every performance. Time to revisit the six couples' routines, two cha-cha medleys (set to the music of Lady Gaga and Madonna), and our interpretations of Bruno's mad-horny comments. We also included our own opinions in case you're desperately seeking sanity.
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David Letterman was the only host last night to acknowledge Conan O'Brien's heart-wrenching 60 Minutes interview -- "I always say, if you can't say anything nice about Jay, let's hear it." Unfortunately, no one else joked at Leno's expense last night, not even the Tonight Show himself, who chose to gloss over his underwhelming Correspondents' Dinner routine by just asking Kev if his parents enjoyed the show. It sounds grim, but there were some highlights from last night's programming worth revisiting -- all compiled after the jump.
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With only two episodes left in the season, Gossip Girl has finally decided to let its characters in on most of the season's big secrets. So: Jenny's drug-dealing past has finally been brought to Rufus' attention; Rufus' possible infidelities have been brought to Serena's attention; Vanessa's three-month internship with CNN has been brought to Dan's attention; and William's feelings for Lilly have been brought to everyone's attention. Though Lilly's fake cancer diagnosis (tip: Don't trust your doctor if he's your ex-husband and still in love with you) is still hanging over the show like a cloud of Chanel perfume. Still, for an episode so ripe with set-up, Gossip Girl herself kept the puns to a minimum. Maybe this should be the Gossip Girl Witticism Index instead? Click ahead for the fun.
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A judge in, well, New Jersey has agreed to hear a case against the producers of Jersey Shore, who are accused of profiting off fights provoked deliberately for MTV's cameras. The claim was brought on behalf of three plaintiffs involved in drunken throwdowns with Ronnie Magro; the judge will eventually determine if the producers conduct "violated New Jersey's racketeering statute." Racketeering! A new Jersey Shore milestone. This calls for a binge drink. [AP]