Connoisseurs of bad 90's cinema may remember a 1998 film called Girl, which starred Dominique Swain as a high schooler bent on losing her virginity. Soon enough, Swain falls for Sean Patrick Flanery, a rocker who's totally into her until he finds out that she's smart and planning to go to college at Brown -- a revelation that renders him impotent and their budding relationship doomed. Also, when her best friend Selma Blair gets raped, Swain's character says in voiceover, "I guess that I'm just better at picking guys."
Guess what, guys! The director is a tea party hero now!
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Remember that SNL cold open from the 2008 campaign season, when Sarah Palin told Alec Baldwin to his face that born-again GOP darling Stephen was her favorite Baldwin brother? Odds are she'll be rethinking that distinction now that Stephen has hit the Croisette to push his new documentary project about our insatiable -- and reckless -- thirst for oil.
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Vanessa Williams, who's no longer vamping it up as Wilhelmina Slater on Ugly Betty, is taking up residence alongside the even shriller vamps of Desperate Housewives. Creator Marc Cherry says Williams will be a regular on the ABC primetime soap. If anyone can outsnark Teri Hatcher or outstare Marcia Cross, it's got to be this gray-eyed dame. Anyone else suddenly feel like tuning in? [EW]
Daytime Emmy voters may not have taken notice of James Franco's stint on General Hospital, but he's giving them one last chance to be impressed. The busy actor will return to the show on June 30 for an installment teeming with intrigue, murder, and "performance art the likes of which the audience has never seen before." Finally, something to look forward to after the Lost finale. [Soapnet]
· Now that Jonah Hex is for real coming out, Megan Fox is back to drop some deliciously batty sound bites. To Allure, she talks about her OCD and laziness: "I'll starve to death before I'll cook for myself. I think I could survive a week without eating."
· Alfred Molina has lined up a role opposite Taylor Lautner in the thriller Abduction.
· Meanwhile, Octavia Spencer has been cast in The Help as a character she helped inspire.
· Oz is coming back in a big way. First Robert Downey Jr circled a prequel, and now Drew Barrymore intends to direct a semi-sequel, Surrender Dorothy.
· What does Sarah Jessica Parker think of hubbub that the Sex and the City 2 poster is too photoshopped? "It's curious to me because everything's Photoshopped now," she told E! "I'm curious, because do they ask it about a Will Smith poster or a Tom Cruise poster?"
Gidget. It's a brand with next to no name recognition for its target audience of teenage girls, and yet, it's the next franchise to get a big ol' Hollywood reboot. 300 producer Mark Canton is planning a TV and movie makeover for the Malibu surf bunny heroine, though when I read excited statements from executives and producers who talk about "reviving Gidget," all I can think is "too soon." [Variety]
· Ellen Page is attached to star in Freeheld, the feature adaptation of Cynthia Wade's Oscar-winning short documentary from 2007. The young star -- who was nominated for Best Actress the same year for Juno -- would play New Jersey auto mechanic Stacie Andree, who joins her dying partner Laurel Hester to battle for rights to Hester's police pension. The doc is pretty shattering; Philadelphia screenwriter Ron Nyswaner is likely ensuring that the adaptation will be the same. Developing... [THR]
Channing Tatum detoxes, Mark Hamill geeks out and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.
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· This Prince of Persia junket is officially out of control. Watch as Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kingsley, and others field questions from a reporter claiming to be the time-traveling son of Gyllenhaal and costar Gemma Arterton. I wouldn't keep indulging these gonzo goofballs except... you know... it's a little funny. [ONTD]
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Kate Gosselin's prowess as a Dancing with the Stars contestant may have been limited, but now she gets to revisit the fun as Entertainment Tonight's special correspondent on DWTS today through Wednesday. Can't wait for Kate's hard-hitting interview questions: "Mr. Ochocinco, you were on fire out there. Do you regret missing an opportunity to be tepid and unfeeling?" [Zap2It]
For their harmony of their titles alone, you can't really beat today's news that Sundance 2010 alums Smash His Camera and Douchebag have been acquired for theatrical release. Magnolia sends word that it picked up world rights for Camera, the doc about infamous paparazzo Ron Galella; it will open some time this summer after its HBO premiere June 7. Something called Red Dragon, meanwhile, has picked up the estranged-brother road-trip comedy Douchebag, whose release will be handled in conjunction with conventional distributor Paladin. Congrats to all.
· Jesse Eisenberg told us last week that he'd do anything promote his new film, short of taking his shirt off. Henry Cavill, the eternally also-ran lead in Tarsem Singh's Immortals, has no such qualms.
· The Steven Spielberg-produced dino fantasy Terra Nova really wouldn't mind if you mistook it for Avatar.
· Terrence Howard isn't too sore about his Iron Man 2 recasting: "Marvel and I are now talking about doing some other things," he told E! "And Don Cheadle wanted to play that part before I wanted to play it, so everything is very well."
· Here are 3 NSFW clips from the Gregg Araki Cannes entry Kaboom.
· Has Glee ever asked Melissa Etheridge for her songs? "No," she told PopEater. "I don't think they're gay enough."
When last we checked in on Terry Gilliam's oft-besieged passion project, The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, the already-cast Robert Duvall told us that Gilliam was looking for another name actor, since "the Irish guy who was in Crazy Heart turned him down." (That'd be Colin Farrell.) Good news: Gilliam's locked in Ewan McGregor. The film will shoot this September, and we'll all keep our fingers very, very crossed. [Empire]
How determined is Andrew Dominik to get his Naomi Watts-toplined Marilyn Monroe film out before a competing one that stars Michelle Williams? This determined: we already have our first look at Watts as Monroe in Blonde, and the film hasn't even started shooting yet. Allocine (via The Playlist) noticed a poster touting the film at Cannes, and there's speculation that the image came from a fitting or screen test; personally, I thought it was Monroe herself until I squinted real hard (Watts looks a little thinner than the sex siren here). Still looks kinda morphed together! Have a gander at the big version of the image and decide for yourself:
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Survivor just crowned its first two-time winner in 34-year-old Sandra Diaz-Twine, who won the show's Heroes vs. Villains season against ultra-strategic "Evil Russell" and the impressive Parvati. Many argue that Parvati deserved to win, since she was both a subtle tactician and a major force during the physical challenges. I'm just grateful Jerri Manthey stopped co-hosting Talk Soup and VH1 countdowns years ago. We're the survivors, see. [Us]
The development pipeline has looked like a bit of a sewer lately, making it all the more important to point out the brilliant (or at least potentially brilliant) concepts that happen to flow among the crap. To wit: God has answered your prayers for an action-thriller teaming Jason Statham, Clive Owen... and Robert De Niro.
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