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Flashback: Movieline Tied Up Desperate Housewives Star Teri Hatcher for Crazy October '96 Cover

You know what were some good times? Back in Movieline's print days, the editors could just call up Teri Hatcher's people and say, "Yeah, hey, it's Movieline. What do you say to the October cover? OK, great. How about we strip her down, tie her up and throw an inflammatory quote under her name? Fantastic. Let's set it up. Ciao!" And so occurred, 14 years ago this month, arguably the most memorable Movieline cover ever. The candid interview was just gravy.

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Julia Roberts Will Call Meryl Streep 'Mom' and 7 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Also in today's Broadsheet: MTV loses two of its programming pioneers... George Clooney finds a leading man for his next directorial effort... Fox News under fire for firing... and more ahead.

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Weekend Forecast: Can The Social Network Make $30 Million Worth of Friends?

Happy Friday! Unless you're Renée Zellweger, I guess, but we'll get to that. It's time for Movieline's weekly round-up of new releases here, there and everywhere, including the fall's first legit Best Picture contender and one of the moldiest shelf-dwellers of the last five years. Quite the range, eh? Let's investigate.

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Emma Thompson to Give Orders in Men in Black 3

Today in unnecessary sequels: Emma Thompson is joining Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin and Jermaine Clement for Men in Black 3(D), which involves time-traveling aliens and the destruction of the world. She'll be playing Oh, the head of the Men in Black, possibly in the future when the gender-specific organization gets more politically correct. Here's hoping Jones uses the paycheck from this one to direct another movie himself. [Deadline]

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Virtual Newsstand: Movieline.com, September 2010

Every month at Movieline, we collect the best interviews, smartest features, and most compelling reviews we've produced, and curate them in one easy-to-use table of contents called the Virtual Newsstand, which pays tribute to our print magazine history. Here's the Virtual Newsstand for September 2010.

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VIDEO: The Late Tony Curtis at His Best, Wooing Sugar Kane in Some Like It Hot

· Don't get fancy with me and pretend Sweet Smell of Success, Operation Petticoat or Spartacus are Tony Curtis's best movies. Let's do the late legend some justice and watch his best scene (with ukulele great Marilyn Monroe) in Some Like It Hot. Click ahead for the video. [YouTube]

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Who Knew? Charlie Sheen Marries Off 25-Year-Old Daughter

I admit I've been too busy parsing the finer points of horse movies for Jesus to stop and smell the real roses: Charlie Sheen has a 25-year-old daughter whom he married off last weekend -- to her junior-high sweetheart. Cassandra Estevez and Casey Huffman were married Sept. 25 in Santa Barbara; she's the product of one of Sheen's own high-school relationships. It gets weirder: Cassandra reportedly "walked down the aisle with her dad to the tune of 'Flightless Bird' from the Twilight soundtrack." "Flightless Bird"! For the generous among you, the happy couple is registered at Bed Bath and WTF. [People]

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Will Smith's 'No Balls' Clause, and More 1996 Revelations From the Movieline Vault

Who's up for a field trip? What if I told you it involved Will Smith talking about his testicles, Kate Winslet eschewing stardom, Jennifer Tilly sharing the Wachowskis' lesbian-love-scene tricks, 100 historically dumb Hollywood decisions and Pamela Anderson Lee's dirty thoughts about wedding jewelry? That's what I thought. To the Vault, 1996 style!

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Darren Aronofsky Rumored for Preacher

Just a couple of days after having his name added to the long list of potential Superman directors, Darren Aronofsky is reportedly in the running to helm Preacher. The DC comic, about a man of faith who goes looking for God (literally) after learning that He has abandoned his throne in Heaven, was previously linked to Sam Mendes. Like that version, expect this to happen sometime around never. [MTV]

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Buzz Break: The Latest Trailer for Burlesque Still Incredibly Campy

· The trailer for Burlesque was probably the campiest thing you saw all summer. As this latest trailer helpfully reminds you (more glitter!), it will probably be the campiest thing you see this fall, too. Click ahead to watch and strap in for more Buzz Break.

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What Project Should Acclaimed Director Ben Affleck Do Next?

It's a pretty good year to be Ben Affleck, considering that his second directorial effort, The Town, isn't just a box office hit, but also a dark horse for an Oscar nomination or two (we all know how much Hollywood loves to reward hyphenate actors). The last time Affleck had heat like this, he squandered it on films like Pearl Harbor and Daredevil (I won't include Armageddon here because it remains totally awesome), but which fork in the road will he take in phase two of his career? Movieline ranks his rumored options ahead.

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Adam Scott Joins Jon Hamm and Kristin Wiig in Jennifer Westfeldt's Friends with Kids

That sound you heard was a collective swoon going through the halls of Movieline HQ. House call-maker and Movieline hero Adam Scott has apparently signed on to star opposite Jon Hamm in Friends with Kids, the directorial debut of Hamm's longtime girlfriend, Jennifer Westfeldt. Kristin Wiig and Westfeldt (who also wrote the script) co-star, meaning this will be probably be the Internet's favorite movie ever. [@prodweek via The Playlist]

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PHOTOS: Anyone Wanna Buy Larry the Cable Guy's Not-So-Blue Collar Florida Estate?

Here's a shocker: Apparently Larry the Cable Guy does not actually live in a crappy mobile home in South Nowhere-ville, USA. He has just put his Florida home on the market for $1.55 million, complete with really nice photos. That's right, the champion of the Southern working man lives in a mansion on 18.79 acres, complete with a "man cave," multiple electric guitars, and an entire gym to help him look sharp in all of those sleeveless shirts. See the Blue Collar Comedy Tour/"Git-R-Done" T-shirt profits in action after the jump.

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Actor Best Known For Playing Philandering Drunk Hired to Sell Lincolns

Roger Sterling may have lost the Lucky Strike account, but at least he still has Lincoln. Mad Men star John Slattery has been hired by the Ford Motor Company to appear in a series of commercials for their Lincoln line of cars. Good for Slattery! Except, um, Ford Motor Company: Doesn't having an actor who is famous for saying things like, "we can solve this problem with a flask," selling your cars seem a bit...odd?

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Whitest Oscars in Years, and 5 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Also in today's Broadsheet: Anderson Cooper zeroes in on daytime... Christopher Plummer gets Tattoo-ed... Frances McDormand and Eminem may finally work together... and more...

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