Will Smith's 'No Balls' Clause, and More 1996 Revelations From the Movieline Vault

Who's up for a field trip? What if I told you it involved Will Smith talking about his testicles, Kate Winslet eschewing stardom, Jennifer Tilly sharing the Wachowskis' lesbian-love-scene tricks, 100 historically dumb Hollywood decisions and Pamela Anderson Lee's dirty thoughts about wedding jewelry? That's what I thought. To the Vault, 1996 style!

· Remember what a stir it caused when Will Smith did his first love scene in the spectacularly terrible Seven Pounds? More than a decade earlier, between his blockbuster tandem Independence Day and Men in Black, Smith elaborated on some of the strictures that help explain why that scene took so long to arrange:

"Men don't have nice fronts," he declares. "Penises aren't attractive. Women think they're functional, but not attractive. In fact, the entire male body is not attractive. As naked as I'll ever be is in Six Degrees of Separation. Maybe I'll do a love scene, but I'm not showing my balls to nobody, I have a 'no balls' clause. I couldn't just take my balls out anywhere like Harvey Keitel. He's like that girl showing me her breasts in the Virgin Megastore. I can see Harvey Keitel in the Virgin Megastore with his balls out trying to get some CDs."

Come back to us, Will!

· It's almost kind of hard to remember there was a time when Trainspotting was controversial. A young Ewan McGregor takes us back.

· "Rebecca De Mornay bit Antonio Banderas on the ass in Never Talk to Strangers [...] The L.A. Times reported that Don Simpson's death appeared to be from natural causes [...] Ron Howard hired a screenwriter to come up with a starring vehicle for Warwick Davis, the dwarf from Willow [...] David Caruso said, "You'll see. Jade will be rediscovered by audiences in the future. In fact, I will make a prediction that this film will have a resurgence." [...] Harrison Ford grew a mustache." These are but a few of the 100 Dumbest Things Hollywood's Done Lately, as listed in the May 1996 issue. They hold up, no?

· Alas, the fashions worn by the 10 Best Dressed Actresses in Hollywood circa 1996 don't quite have the same longevity. Or maybe we just chose the wrong outfits to feature.

· You'd never believe who called Keanu Reeves's band Dogstar "brillliaant."

· Asked how she feels about attaining "Big Star status" in the States after her run of Heavenly Creatures and Sense and Sensibility, Kate Winslet replied: "That's not important to me. I'd rather do theater and British films than move to L.A. in hopes of getting small roles in American films." Insert spit-take here. Can't knock the photo, though! [Click for bigger.]

· What really happened to late, hyperindulgent megadirector Don Simpson? Movieline investigated.

· Bound star Jennifer Tilly offered this awesome recollection of the Wachowskis' lesbian-love-scene-directing technique:

Q: How many love scenes are there?

A: Three. They're amazingly erotic to watch, but when we were doing them. Gina and I would talk so much, the directors decided to buy megaphones so they could go, "Girls, stop giggling!"

Q: "... and tweak her left nipple!"

A: It was like that. They'd put the camera on a crane and one of the Wachowskis would yell through the microphone, "Jennifer, rise!" I'd rise and he'd yell. "Hand!" and Gina would put her hand on my hip. He'd say. "Walls!" and the grips would move the walls, and he'd say "Stomach!" and Gina's stomach would start undulating. Then he'd say. "Bite!" and she'd bite down on my finger and come.

Q: Did they ever yell through the megaphone, "Come!"?

A: No. "Bite!" was the euphemism for come. So I didn't have to cry, "Come! Come hard! Come now!"

Q: Like that command ever works in real life.

A: Sometimes it does.

· "So many women fight over how big their diamonds are, but the size of the stones is really about their man's ego over his little thing. I think diamonds have a direct relationship to your man's penis size. [...] That's why I have no diamonds." Pamela Anderson Lee, ladies and gentlemen!