"These are the Fosters."
The Fosters, you see, are two of primetime situation comedy's most beloved personalities, NBC's critically adored Thursday night schedule anchors, Steve Carrell and Tina Fey, entertainment forces so potent that not even Jay Leno's black hole of desperate joylessness has yet sucked them, kicking and screaming, into his modestly budgeted 10 p.m. abyss.
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We know you Americans like Michael Caine, by the way you keep producing dire remakes of his films. Okay, The Italian Job wasn't horrendous (although personally I'm more excited about the forthcoming Bollywood version, which Indian film chiefs have promised will feature "lots of singing and dancing," in case we didn't know what to expect), but our own Jude Law should be thrown into movie jail for participating in your pathetic reimagining of Alfie, and Stallone should be made to stand in the corner and have his HGH Club for Men Club membership revoked for what he did to Get Carter (which Caine briefly appears in, but my point still stands). But Brits love Michael Caine.
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It's over. Just like that. Thirteen weeks, gone, in the blink of a bourbon-reddened, smoke-teary eye. For the last time this season, please join us for our appraisal of where our favorite Sterling Cooper players stand in the post-JFK world in which they suddenly find themselves. After the jump, the Power Rankings for Mad Men's surprising, utterly satisfying finale:
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Perusing the trade papers during the yearly American Film Market, when thousands of buyers from all of the world descend upon Santa Monica to pick over a buffet of independent, straight-to-video, and international movie fare, is a real treat, as both Variety and The Hollywood Reporter are glutted with ads for low-budgeted curiosities propped up by recognizable talent that you may one day stumble across at the multiplex, or, much more likely, in the deepest, darkest corners of your Netflix recommendations pages. (There was a time we would've said "on the shelves of your local Blockbuster, but, uh, yeah.) To save you the time of thumbing through the trades yourself to pan for obscure cinematic gold, Movieline has assembled the best of this year's AFM ads so far, leaving you with nothing to do but pray that each finds the completion financing or distribution it needs to one day land in your mailbox in a red envelope. After the jump, get ready for cameos from Winona Ryder, Sly Stallone, Val Kilmer, and a host of other household and once-household names that will make your movieparts tingle with delight.
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Merry Christmas, America! Too early, you cry? Christmas officially begins tonight, at least here in London, because Jim Carrey says so. Actually, let's not shoot the messenger -- it's officially Christmas tonight because Walt Disney has paid for it to be so. A lot. Tonight's Christmas lights ceremony will be marked by two firsts: the first time an American star has had the honour of flipping the switch, and the first time that the lights in both Oxford Street and the intersecting Regent Street will share a unifying theme: Robert Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol, premiering in Leicester Square right after. "We are delighted that 'Disney's A Christmas Carol will literally light up London with this spectacular holiday event", says Disney Chairman Dick Cook. No sh*t.
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That terrible thing that we all knew was going to happen? Yeah, it happened. Now no longer just a knowing chuckle we shared when we saw a close-up on the date on Margaret Sterling's wedding invitation, That Terrible Thing finally came to pass during nooners, fights about art directors, and whiny conversations about job security, without regard for anyone's petty problems. After the jump, how That Terrible Thing (and some other, less terrible things) moved around the names on this week's Power Rankings (you will be shocked!) (Or possibly not shocked!):
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If Paranormal Activity has taught us anything, it's that some crazy kids with fifteen grand, a decent camera, and a nice house to shoot in for a few days can make all their Hollywood dreams come true. But why must only one movie this Halloween season break the bank and propel its cast and filmmakers to instant stardom?
And so, on this Halloween Eve (or Mischief Late-Afternoon, or whatever you like to call it) we bring you the trailer for your next potential grassroots cinematic hit: Evil Weed.
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According to the NY Daily News, or In Touch Weekly, or the shady producer claiming to be behind the almost certainly fictional project, stay-at-TV dad Jon Gosselin and tabloid-powered baby-factory Nadya "Octomom" Suleman are working on a new reality show in which the father of eight and mother of fourteen will date, on the television, in fulfillment of the ancient prophesy. Should this program ever actually happen, it would, of course, mean either the instantaneous end of society or the bold beginning of a newer, better one, one where status will be measured solely by an individual's demonstrated the ability to perpetuate his or her DNA in bulk. In the interest of trying to puzzle out whether this alleged show will serve as either the aforementioned end or beginning of the world, Movieline is closing its eyes, drifting off to a place usually only accessible during intense hypnotherapy, and then transcribing the scenes it sees playing out once the violent, disturbing seizures subside. Enjoy.
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Exhausted the classic canon? Fed up with the current cinema of remakes, reboots and reimaginings? This week The Cold Case talks to filmmaker Fred Dekker, exhuming a recently restored cult-horror gem just in time for Halloween.
While the 1980s horror pantheon is rightly filled with Things, Poltergeists and Freddy Kruegers, the decade also spawned an awesome sub-strata of sublime B-movie genre efforts. Some, such as Screamplay and The Hidden we've already shone light on, but one unheralded schlock classic has remained in the shadows -- its VHS copies revered, TV screenings relentlessly tracked -- since it fleetingly flickered across silver screens in 1986. Until this week, that is, when, in no small part thanks to an Internet petition, Night Of The Creeps, a comic-horror sci-fi tribute to all things alien (and zombie) finally makes it debut on DVD and Blu-ray.
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As part of Movieline's ongoing efforts to broaden the admittedly Yankeecentric scope of our entertainment coverage, we've tracked down just the man to lob over dispatches from across the pond. Please give a warm welcome to Alex Godfrey, who joins Movieline today as our Man in London. Whether you're an unabashed anglophile, a stout anti-imperialist, or just a lonesome expat craving a proper scone, we think a few moments with Alex will invariably offer you a little piece of home. Today, Alex speaks to Paul Davis, a local DJ whose Beware The Moon -- an indie doc on the making of An American Werewolf in London -- eventually found its way onto Universal's new Blu-ray re-release of the John Landis classic.
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Eleven down, just two more to go. Go grab your own shoebox full of secret, bring it here, and then let's all move on to this week's Power Rankings together while rummaging through the evidence of our deceptions, shall we?
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A little earlier, we directed you to the first! still! image! from Joe Carnahan's upcoming A-Team feature, the initial breadcrumb Fox's marketing machine is dropping as it slowly lures us towards the multiplex next year. But on this Friday afternoon, with nothing more compelling to discuss than some torture porn and yet another vampire movie about to thud into theaters, we think more attention on the image is warranted. Join us as we attempt to unlock all of the secrets hiding within this seemingly innocuous, liberally airbrushed scene of four guys standing around.
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OK, so we realize that ABC's new sitcom, I'm With Stupid, is actually based on a book that borrowed what is perhaps history's most beloved novelty t-shirt slogan, and not on the arrow-pointing-to-ostensibly-stupid-person classic itself. But you know what? Idea-starved network executives can really use all the source material they can get, so why shouldn't they spend an afternoon roaming the discount t-shirt stalls of Venice Beach, emerging with an entire seasonal development slate's worth of fresh inspiration? And so Movieline, bravely opting not to do the "How To Tell Your Various Cinematic Wolfmen Apart" post suggested by today's lycanthrope-oversaturated slow news day, is throwing out a few ideas to get the ball rolling:
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Week Ten! We can see the home stretch from here, but as Matthew Weiner's bored, dissatisfied thoroughbreds gallop joylessly towards the finish line, they still have some time to stop along the way and couple with a filly to ease the existential angst of realizing that all they do with their lives is run in circles as fast as they can and never actually get anywhere. After the jump, your Mad Men Power Rankings:
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Yesterday, America held its collective breath and watched, via any number of basic cable and internet video feeds, as a balloon reportedly carrying six-year-old Falcon Heene hurtled through the air 7,000 feet over Colorado. As we all know by now, the unmanned balloon eventually landed in a field, and it turned out that young Falcon had been safely hiding in a box in his attic the entire time (yay!), even as millions of people spent four hours praying for his safety. Today, Hollywood is undoubtedly in hot pursuit of the rights to the Heene family's incredible -- and possibly entirely orchestrated for publicity (boo!) -- story. Movieline now takes you inside a high-level meeting at Balloon Boy's natural landing spot to see one studio's strategy for winning the Balloon Boy sweepstakes:
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