The 9 Most Scathing Critical Responses To 'Red Dawn'

Red Dawn Trailer

You can be sure the folks at MGM are really happy they spent $70 million and counting remaking the totally '80s teen insurgency actioner Red Dawn for the CW set. (Not to mention sitting on, then digitally reworking their baddies from Chinese to more marketable Korean villains because they look similar enough anyway, right?) The clumsy, politically misguided, arguably irresponsible, totally "America, f*** yeah!" tale of Washingtonian teens taking up arms against North Korean invaders is so fantastically paranoid and plodding, it's yielded some of the most rancorous reviews in recent memory. Crack open a Budweiser and raise the flag and let's get to poring over the 9 most scathing critical responses to Red Dawn!

9. "There aren’t many occasions when I think a movie literally shouldn’t have ever been made, but the release — or more specifically, the end result — of Red Dawn marks an important one." — Todd Gilchrist, Celebuzz

8. "Red Dawn is a ghoulish parody of reality, served up earnestly and obliviously, to an audience whose enjoyment will, perforce, be directly proportional to its ignorance." — Hugh Ryan, Salon

7. "Reasonably dopey fun on its own, the remade Red Dawn simply can't stand up to the real-world issues it steps on like a land mine." — Mark Olsen, L.A. Times

6. "This paint-by-numbers picture with false drama and middling action has next to nothing to justify its very existence. Red Dawn, on a fundamental level, is garbage." — Jordan Hoffman, Film.com

5. "Early on, I was rolling my eyes at the strained familiarity of Red Dawn; by the time it started wedging Subway references into the mouths of its teenage freedom fighters between firefights, I may have been rooting for the invaders a little." — James Rocchi, MSN

4. "Less easy to overlook though is [Josh] Peck's overactive emoting or the dumbstruck look that [Isabel] Lucas can't seem to shake. Some of these actors are just dead, and that's before they're supposed to be." — Tom Long, Detroit News

3. "[As] the forces of Kim Jong-un overrun Spokane, Wash., by sea in Red Dawn, a soon-to-go-guerilla high schooler exclaims, 'North Korea? That doesn't make sense!' Get used to it, kid." — Jim Slotek, Jam!

2. "By the end, we appreciate the wisdom of the character who says, 'Dude, we’re living Call of Duty. And it sucks.' That’s a big 10-4, soldier." — Jay Stone, Canada.com

1. "[The] Heaven's Gate for the Hunger Games generation... Not since The Truman Show have we seen characters so blatantly stunted by studio interference." — David Ehrlich, Box Office Magazine

Way to go, Wolverines!

Did you see Red Dawn? Tell us if you agree with the critics below.

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Comments

  • segmation says:

    I don't know if I agree on this about paint by numbers!

  • Steve who lived in south korea for 4 years. says:

    pure trash from the opening... how a nation of 24 million invades and occupies a ntion of 312 million is beyond "suspension of disbelief..." it's suspension of the laws of physics....

    i do look forward to a sequel, where SOUTH korea invades the north and liberates the US.... THAT would be good!!!

  • anne aulenta says:

    I spent 4 months of my life working on this piece of crap.I have witnesses that heard me tell the director that it was unwise to make China the invading force.Well he did not listen to my advice!!! All the CG in the world couldn't save this Turkey.I also told the director to keep his day job.LMFAO

  • I actually enjoyed the movie. Lighten up folks, it is meant to be entertainment. It is definitely not Saving Private Ryan, but I thought it was good. I saw the first one when I was a teenager and this one wasn't quite as sad. Let's hope if this every happens the people of America will rise up and not wait for the military to defend us. Politics aside, kick ass America, "Go Wolverines!"

    • Steve who lived in south korea for 4 years. says:

      if this ever happens..... how does a nation of 24 million invade a nation of 311 million?

      and don't fall back on "the russians helped..." such an after-the-fact copout of the filmmakers...

      • Tanner says:

        The in-movie explanation is that of EMP Strike followed by missile attacks, while pretty much all of the US fighting force is overseas.

        "and don't fall back on "the russians helped..."

        They didn't help. They invaded and held the entire east coast.

        It's no masterpiece, but it was entertaining, and shooting holes in the plot of a popcorn flick it mindless tedium.

      • Jason says:

        It cant happen. 80,000,000 Americans own guns...some of which are well trained vets. We also have the greatest and most well trained Force Multipliers in the World. Now if guns were banned then China could probably pull it off. But if guns were banned there would be a civil war.

        • Simon says:

          Okay, first if you are ever occupied by a nation....DO NOT USE THESE TACTICS, they will get thousands if not millions killed. Do you know what happened in france when the germans occupied it? Every solider that was killed, they killed civillians. I can't remember the numbers in france, but two numbers I remember that happened in various places was 1 soldier = 7 or 20 civilians. I have a family member born in Holland who's mother just barely missed a round up over a guerilla attack. The correct way to rise up is ONE organized effort or feed intel to the still active armies of your nation or allies.
          SECOND
          Please don't delude yourself into thinking your army is the greatest ever... It's not. It is the most well equipped and quite large, but you don't actually train your soldiers that amazingly compared to some nations. Canada is known for having amazing training, no equipment worth mentioning.... But well trained. In America they try and coerce people into joining. In Canada potential recruits must submit to a mental evaluation that rejects many people that America would take in.
          THIRD
          If you ever did have a civil war over banning guns China would probably take that opportunity to strike when you are vulnerable. Just saying, dumb ass idea.

  • Thomas N. Argiri says:

    I'm glad I went to see Red Dawn2 despite the reviews. In a day in which most of the movies are made up of comic book heroes, to hear how unreal Red dawn2 is, is insane. It was the most real (surreal) movie I think I've ever seen. The movie sent chill's up and down my spine. I mean everyday we see war's breaking out all over the world. Is it such a stretch that the unthinkable could happen here. This wasn't an invasion of bug's or alien's but real people, falling from the sky with parachutes, in our hood, with machine guns, telling us what to do, or we die! Stranger things have happened, I mean watch the new's sometime. Our country is going bankrupt, we might just become an easy target. Wake up America, don't wake up when the game is called out on, because of darkness! Wolverines!!!

    • Steve who lived in south korea for 4 years. says:

      it sucked. end of story....

      but have fun picking it out out of the 3 dollar bin at best buy or your local drug store next year.

      NEXT!!

  • LOL these were great comments, fun to read

  • You could definitely see your expertise in the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to say how they believe. At all times follow your heart.

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