9 Things The Arrested Development Movie Must Include

Arrested Development Movie

The new Arrested Development installment starts filming this week, according to Deadline, more than six years after the beloved comedy was kicked off the air. We Bluth family loyalists have tried to keep the faith through the long years of false hope and thwarted movie speculation, and finally our patience has been rewarded. The Netflix series, which will set up an Arrested Development movie, has already done the heavy lifting of getting all of the actors, narrator-producer Ron Howard and series creator Mitch Hurwitz back in one place for at least part of the time. But that’s only one dealbreaker for fans. Here are nine more things the Arrested Development follow-up must include.

1. Getting back from Cabo
Presumably Michael, George Michael and George, Sr. have spent the past six years hiding in Cabo from the rest of their family, establishing a Mexican arm of the Bluth banana stand empire while paying off the authorities to ignore their black-market cornballer business. But if they haven’t, we'd better see some explanation of how and why they decided to go back and how Michael got pulled back into his family’s drama.

Perhaps this airport-set first look from the series' start of filming, Tweeted by Jason Bateman himself, is a clue?

2. Resolution for “Les Cousins Dangereux”
When last we saw kissing cousins George Michael and Maeby, they had just discovered that her mother was adopted, making their forbidden flirtation almost OK. Then George Michael fled the country. Oh, and remember that time they accidentally got married? Here’s hoping those two crazy non-relatives finally make it work.

3. Incest is best
George Michael and Maeby might be the show’s most palatable quasi-incestuous couple, but Arrested Development didn't stop there with the inappropriately close family ties. Lucille’s relationship with “Motherboy” Buster was … codependent at best, even before Buster dated her friend, “Lucille 2.” And is it wrong that, ever since we found out that Lindsay was adopted, I’ve secretly kind of hoped that she and Michael end up together? But even putting the incest mostly aside, I’m hoping the new series follows Michael’s motto of …

4. “Family first.”
My biggest hesitation with the Netflix series is that each episode will focus mostly on one character, “although some episodes may feature multiple characters,” Deadline reports. It’s understandable for casting and scheduling purposes, but the best parts of Arrested Development were watching the Bluths come together before tearing each other apart, over and over again. Even if it’s just two more yacht parties opening and closing the series, let’s hope that Hurwitz can get his scattered cast back in one place long enough to film a few good ensemble scenes.

5. George Bluth’s white-collar crime
I am so very sad that the Bluth patriarch, ex-con and real-estate mogul for Saddam Hussein, was off the air during the financial crisis. Think of the missed opportunities for a Bluth Bank! I’ll be disappointed if George hasn’t bumbled into running at least one Ponzi scheme in the interim.

6. Tobias
I don’t love the character, but the sexually confused never-nude was the vehicle for some of Arrested Development’s funniest running gags. I can’t pick just one I want to see resurrected now — the denim cutoffs? “I just blue myself”? His life as an “analrapist”? At the very least, I’m hoping that recent current events and the Bluth family’s competitively-dysfunctional chicken dances come together for some quality Chick-fil-A jokes.

7. “The Final Countdown”
Six years later, every time I hear the opening riff of this song in the background of sports event, I still expect to see GOB Bluth jump up on stage and screw up one of his “illusions.” You can’t not use “The Final Countdown” in any new Arrested Development project. That would be making a huge mistake.

8. All the guest stars
Amy Poehler should be in everything, ever, and I hope she supports husband Will Arnett by reprising her role as GOB’s wife. But from Charlize Theron and Liza Minnelli to Carl Weathers and Judge Reinhold, Arrested Development always had the best roster of random guest stars, and I hope we see most of them again.

9. Inside-Hollywood baseball
Arrested Development was never too worried about biting the hand that fed it, especially once Fox put it out to pasture, or wryly breaking the fourth wall to tell viewers about its chances for resurrection. (“HBO is not going to want us. What are we going to do now?” “Well, I think it’s Showtime.”) I expect lots more snarky industry in-jokes, up to and including …

Bonus: “Next time, on Arrested Development.”
Narrator Ron Howard always ended an Arrested Development episode by promising us more to come. Now the Netflix series takes us one step closer to the much-anticipated, long-delayed movie. By the time Howard records his final voiceover for the last Netflix episode’s coda, let’s hope he’s got even more concrete plans to share with us.

Maria Aspan is a writer living in New York whose work has appeared in The New York Times, Reuters and American Banker. She Tweets and Tumbls.

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