Write a Horror Haiku, Win a Cabin in the Woods Bong (and More) [UPDATED]
In honor of today's horror extravaganza Cabin in the Woods, pen a masterful horror-themed haiku and you could win a bounty of Cabin swag! Included in the grand prize: A Cabin t-shirt, a signed poster, the visualization "movie tie-in" book, the novelization (so you can understand the twists and turns and surprises at hand), and your very own Cabin in the Woods expanding bong (to, um, help you expand your mind and grasp what writer-producer Joss Whedon and director Drew Goddard are doing in this ultra meta-horror send-up). [UPDATE 4/16, 9:30 a.m. ET: The deadline has moved up! Read on for details...]
Cabin in the Woods is best left unspoiled, but suffice to say it's about a cabin... in the woods... where a group of unsuspecting coeds arrive one weekend, unprepared for what's to come. (Read Movieline's spoiler-free review here, or this spoilers-redacted SXSW report, for more.) Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Kristen Connolly, Jesse Williams, Fran Kranz, Richard Jenkins, and Bradley Whitford star.
The rules are simple: Submit an original haiku (using the 5-7-5 format) inspired by either Cabin in the Woods or your favorite horror classic, in the comments below or on Facebook/Twitter.
One grand prize winner will receive the following prize pack:
(1) Shirt
(1) Bong
(1) Visualization "Movie Tie-in" Book
(1) Novelization
(1) Signed Poster
But wait! FOUR runners-up will win a t-shirt, a poster, AND the coveted Cabin in the Woods bong. That's five chances to get your hands on the best (and arguably most useful) piece of movie swag to come along in a while. So hop to it, folks! Get your horror haiku on now.
[ED. NOTE: Due to site maintenance (including a commenting outage) Monday morning PT/afternoon ET, this contest will close earlier than originally expected. See details below.]
Contest closes Monday, April 16 at 5pm ET/2pm PT 12pm ET/9am PT. Entries must include an email address for contacting winners. Winner must be located in the U.S. Only one submission per person.
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Comments
Damned are the souls
Who do not trust the stoner
Take me off speakerphone
Five teens in a cabin
The stuff nightmares are made of
Stoned, drunk, sexy and dead
Cabin in the Woods
Must Ignore All the Spoilers
Or Ruin the Fun
Marty's Magic Bong
Too illegal for Starbucks
Makes a great weapon
It's Thor's college days
And a weekend in Hell at
Cabin in the Woods
Horror movies say
The virgin lives to tell tale?
So Republican!
Seneca Crane Lives
In the Cabin Control Room
Then he dies there, too.
you suck, internet
no one writes SPOILER ALERT
now the film's ruined
Cabin in the woods
Evil dead meets Truman Show
Gatekeeper fails twice
A cabin and woods
A combo that's no surprise
Body count will rise
I wrote a haiku
to win the best prize ever
horror would be not winning
Shelved over two years.
Planned 3D taken away.
Still, a game-changer!!!
So hop to it, folks! Get your horror haiku on now.
houses for sale near ucf
Merman came for me;
My bet from under the sea
God-damn Chekov's gun.
Nice!
Cabin in the woods
Beat a monster with my bong
Stupid zombie arm
Just wanted to say that I know I submitted too many haikus. Sorry about that. For some reason, I seem to have some talent for this form of writing, and it got out of hand.
Cabin from The Evil Dead
What, no Necronomicon?
Pass me the bong, bro.
Ancient gods rise up
The shit stops hitting the fans
One can only wish
How did a satire
this clever get released by
Lions fucking Gate?
Five teens in the woods.
Sex? Drugs? Sure. But don't forget
Killer unicorns.
The Overlook's nice
especially in the snow
Why's Dad got an axe?
I think you are you
but I know I can't trust you
you could be The Thing
That girl's clearly sick
She's got the devil inside
Also, fresh pea soup
Let's go to the woods
I don't see any problems
besides the rape trees
I shall never read
A poem as lovely as
A merman fish face
Cabin In The Woods
Was Beyond Fucking Awesome
Really Want This Bong
Police fear this man.
With his insane tolerance.
Thy stoner prevails!
Cabin in the Woods
Scene of bloody carnage
Death and madness unimaginable
To answer Alex's haiku, Lionsgate got the movie in the MGM bankrupcy sale. Ol' Leo the Lion had some financial problems that held up this movie, James Bond and The Hobbit for years.
The first one is for Cabin in the woods. can u guess the rest?
Slaughter the clean lamb
A sacred pact blood has sealed
Quiet ancient lords
Dream horse child reaper
five bladess flay and play in dreams
fedora's burnt flesh
Chasing barbara
Racist against black people
Zombies after dusk
Ancient times ash fall
Wrong words spoken brought evil
Groovey chainsaw hand
bruised my date's poor arm.
never been good with horror.
and yet, I still watch.
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