Write a Horror Haiku, Win a Cabin in the Woods Bong (and More) [UPDATED]
In honor of today's horror extravaganza Cabin in the Woods, pen a masterful horror-themed haiku and you could win a bounty of Cabin swag! Included in the grand prize: A Cabin t-shirt, a signed poster, the visualization "movie tie-in" book, the novelization (so you can understand the twists and turns and surprises at hand), and your very own Cabin in the Woods expanding bong (to, um, help you expand your mind and grasp what writer-producer Joss Whedon and director Drew Goddard are doing in this ultra meta-horror send-up). [UPDATE 4/16, 9:30 a.m. ET: The deadline has moved up! Read on for details...]
Cabin in the Woods is best left unspoiled, but suffice to say it's about a cabin... in the woods... where a group of unsuspecting coeds arrive one weekend, unprepared for what's to come. (Read Movieline's spoiler-free review here, or this spoilers-redacted SXSW report, for more.) Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Kristen Connolly, Jesse Williams, Fran Kranz, Richard Jenkins, and Bradley Whitford star.
The rules are simple: Submit an original haiku (using the 5-7-5 format) inspired by either Cabin in the Woods or your favorite horror classic, in the comments below or on Facebook/Twitter.
One grand prize winner will receive the following prize pack:
(1) Shirt
(1) Bong
(1) Visualization "Movie Tie-in" Book
(1) Novelization
(1) Signed Poster
But wait! FOUR runners-up will win a t-shirt, a poster, AND the coveted Cabin in the Woods bong. That's five chances to get your hands on the best (and arguably most useful) piece of movie swag to come along in a while. So hop to it, folks! Get your horror haiku on now.
[ED. NOTE: Due to site maintenance (including a commenting outage) Monday morning PT/afternoon ET, this contest will close earlier than originally expected. See details below.]
Contest closes Monday, April 16 at 5pm ET/2pm PT 12pm ET/9am PT. Entries must include an email address for contacting winners. Winner must be located in the U.S. Only one submission per person.
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Comments
Friday the 13th
Jason stabs another kid
It's getting quite old
Cabin in the Woods
You think you've heard the story
It's not what it seems
Dracula rises
Dismayed by Twilight success
Waits for Buffy's stake
Who are the true monsters:
Zombies who thirst for blood or...
The men who sent them
(that second haiku does refer to CitW, but it could apply to a lot of horror movies)
Wedon writes West Wing:
Whitford doesn't walk and talk
Sheen is a mer-man
Beware college kids
violent deaths desicrate
your vacation home
Teens in the back woods
Recipe for disaster
Great carnage candy
Water. Washing sins.
Slash! SCREAM! Mother? Norman! Blood
rings the drain. Death comes.
monsters can't smoke pot
i like their movies while high
please give me the bong
seriously though
i broke my bong last weekend
help a brotha out
Movieline calls us
To sacrifice a haiku
To be blessed with swag
(I wrote this on the facebook too but I'm not sure if it was in the right place, so just to make sure)
Leave a comment here/on Twitter/on Facebook -- it all works. Thanks!
Cabin In the Woods!
Hype and Speculation sucks...
Stop showing trailers!
I waited three years
I will never see a Merman
Damn redneck zombies
Scream told me the rules
But it makes no difference
I still pee my pants
Beware All Bloody
Puppets Act Accordingly
Jester Speaks Truthful
My chest is pounding,
The Alien is within.
I'll need that free shirt.
Never watched Buffy.
Joss' hair is all but gone.
I hope they show tits.
Is there anything
More truly horrifying?
Than the film DREAMGIRLS?
Fear of the Unknown
Fills us with Fright and Terror,
It's going to get you!
Cabin in the Woods:
Please listen to Mordecai
Am I on speaker?
weekend fun awaits
ritual of suffering
ancient ones awake
Cartoon CGI
It was intentional, no?
That bong best be real
This remote cabin
Gives a new meaning to the
Term: Cabin Control
Whispers in darkness
Tentacles bursting forth now
Necronomicon
This is a correction to an earlier haiku (extra syllable in first line)
Are the true monsters:
Zombies who thirst for blood or...
The men who sent them
Now some new ones...
Whedon and Goddard
Think horror flicks bloody boring
They build new cabin
If the Hills Have Eyes
And take a Wrong Turn in woods
Auto Club won't help
Oops, another haiku mistake. Should be..
Whedon and Goddard
Think horror films bloody dull
They build new cabin
I must have that Bong
I'll even ask politely
Please give me the Bong
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