New Three Stooges Trailer: Just Gouge Your Own Eyes Out Right Now
"What you are about to witness are stunts performed by experienced professionals." So warns the new trailer for The Three Stooges, which is here to punish you with yet more inane, terrible-looking slapstick yuks. Indeed. Weep for the careers of the "professionals" prostrating themselves herein in the name of entertainment and watch the trailer, if you dare.
Perhaps a more telling warning, also from the new reel which is completely devoid of plot, because who needs that, is the line "Before Jackass... there was dumbass." Sure, Johnny Knoxville's band of merry pranksters also subjected themselves to idiotic stunts for comedy's sake, but you know what? Theirs was a shared pursuit of increasing stakes, pushing the human body to its limit, testing boundaries both physical and cultural while, yes, hitting each other in the balls. The Three Stooges, at least from the looks of this forced iteration of slapstick slumming as embodied by Sean Hayes, Will Sasso, and Chris Diamantopolous (not to mention the Farrelly brothers), is just so utterly soul-crushing.
I suppose there's the possibility that the film will reveal some stroke of mad genius not apparent in these trailers, but I'm betting that's a slim chance. Are you brave enough to find out come April 13?