New Three Stooges Trailer: Just Gouge Your Own Eyes Out Right Now

The Three Stooges (2012)

"What you are about to witness are stunts performed by experienced professionals." So warns the new trailer for The Three Stooges, which is here to punish you with yet more inane, terrible-looking slapstick yuks. Indeed. Weep for the careers of the "professionals" prostrating themselves herein in the name of entertainment and watch the trailer, if you dare.

Perhaps a more telling warning, also from the new reel which is completely devoid of plot, because who needs that, is the line "Before Jackass... there was dumbass." Sure, Johnny Knoxville's band of merry pranksters also subjected themselves to idiotic stunts for comedy's sake, but you know what? Theirs was a shared pursuit of increasing stakes, pushing the human body to its limit, testing boundaries both physical and cultural while, yes, hitting each other in the balls. The Three Stooges, at least from the looks of this forced iteration of slapstick slumming as embodied by Sean Hayes, Will Sasso, and Chris Diamantopolous (not to mention the Farrelly brothers), is just so utterly soul-crushing.

I suppose there's the possibility that the film will reveal some stroke of mad genius not apparent in these trailers, but I'm betting that's a slim chance. Are you brave enough to find out come April 13?

[Yahoo!]



Comments

  • Robert says:

    I guess the writer of this article must be under 40 and has no clue that the 3 stooges represent. As kid growing up in the early 70's I couldn't wait to come home from school to see the original (1930-40's era) 3 stooges short films in syndication at the time. The trailer has captured the essence of these short perfectly; mindless live action cartoon slapstick. It is what it is! I laughed my A** off at the trailer. I cannot wait to see this film!

    • Yashar says:

      Just because these crappy trailers are insanely unfunny and insulting to the originals, it doesn't mean the writer of this article is unfamiliar to the classics or people can insult her.
      I happen to be under 40 but I LOVE the real Three Stooges. Have many of their shorts and consider some of them real classics. However, these trailers are just mimicking them physically without even trying to be funny or even respectful.

      Remember the "NEW" Laurel and Hardy? You say anyone who thinks they sucked is too young and doesn't understand the real Laurel & Hardy? OR is that because the real duo were GODS of comedy and the new ones were just quick cash-ins that failed badly?

  • Andy says:

    The slapstick IS the genius. Simple. Plain. Uproariously funny, if you like that kind of thing. Who the heck wrote this review? Really?

    • Max Renn says:

      Oh really? Well let's look at the reviews after this turkey is released and see how much that "genius" generates at the box office.

  • One thing about this spam stuff lately? The insertions are
    really short, not wordy at all.

    Three Stooges. AMC shows the originals weekday/end mornings, and it's worth watching Moe, Larry, Curly AND
    Shemp. Guaranteed Joe Besser-free so far. Watch for the delightful work of character actor Vernon Dent.
    Thanks, Jen! KRIS

  • dukeroberts says:

    Sadly, this might be a medium-sized hit. It should have been produced by Happy Madison.

  • anon says:

    Interesting that when this idea was originally floated, three big, no, huge names were floated. One of which was Jim Carrey, can't remember the other two. That certainly fell through fast enough, bring in the B team.

    • Andy says:

      Originally, it was Michael Chiklis as Curly, Bennicio Del Toro as Moe, Sean Penn as Larry and Jim Carrey as Shemp... But I think that was a different script altogether.

  • karl straub says:

    I'm not sure why I keep seeing such righteous indignation directed towards this film. I'm a pretty big Stooges fan myself, and it's pretty clear to me that the Farrellys know as much about the original team as any of the chest-beating fans posting about it. Looks like a pretty faithful adaptation to me, and not the cynical cash-in kind of ripoff that we see so often. Maybe the waters have been polluted by too many movies like that, and people are jaded? And perhaps that's a symptom of critic's overviewing disease, because I've avoided such a malady by not seeing any of that crap the last few years.

    Moreover, the argument that this is somehow soulless compared to Jackass seems a stretch.
    If we're going to make comparisons, I guess I'd be happier if critics of the caliber of James Agee, Graham Greene, and Paul Schrader were writing reviews online, rather than the kind of glib smartalecks we get today, but maybe that's not a fair matchup.

    • Dan says:

      Ditto! This looks really funny, and that's coming from someone who appreciates higher brow movies (The Lives of Others, Tell No One, etc., etc.) too. Anyone whose soul can get crushed by this trailer shouldn't be writing about things like this movie.

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