Who Has the Most Humiliating What to Expect When You're Expecting Character Poster?

Signs continue to emerge suggesting that What to Expect When You're Expecting is a real movie with real stars and a very real prospect of opening theatrically, as opposed to one of those mock all-star trailers that the Funny or Die crew coughed up over bad Chinese food at the end of a 14-hour day. The latest indication: Character posters! It's like The Avengers of maternity anthologies! If, that is, the Avengers labored superhumanly on behalf of the beleaguered population of Cringe City.

Who's got it worse? It's a tough call, right? I mean, I feel worst for Anna Kendrick, but Elizabeth Banks wields arguably the least convincing baby bump in modern moviegoing. And Cameron Diaz. That face! That posture! And here I thought it was Demi Moore hitting the whip-its.

Anyway. Thoughts?

[via iVillage]

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  • Sarah says:

    J-Lo's pic looks like she's trying to sell me tampons.

  • Gina says:

    Where's JLo's bump? Is she in the first trimester while everyone else is in the second or third? LOL

  • badblokebob says:

    They're all foul, but poor Elizabeth Banks looks like a 60-year-old who's been badly airbrushed in an attempt to make her look 45. And she's 37.

  • Mike the Movie Tyke says:

    Wow, they managed to insult women, pregnancy, movies and the moviegoing public all at the same time. As a drunk Gene Shalit would say, "Abort!"

  • TheContext says:

    "Conceived from the best-selling book." I just can't.

  • MartiniShark says:

    I think following Kendrick's urine-soaked one-sheet we're going begin to hear about the new spate of celebrity contracts demanding final approval of all character key art.

  • The Winchester says:

    Everyone else looks like they're holding a basketball under their shirts.

    And why is it suddenly ok to start swearing in posters? Even if it's blocked out? Between this, Smurf happens, Munk yourself, et al, we're goin downhill fast.

    • j'accuse! says:

      Just wait until Ass hit the cinemas. Oh, and Anna's one sheet is the most humiliating, because it appears to have the least photoshopping and she looks painfully self aware of how retarded it all is.

      Also, ditto on the Banks photo. She doesn't even look human. I can see who somebody would want to photoshop the hell out of my ugly mug, but why in the name of Cthulu would you want to do that to a woman as beautiful as Banks?

    • FareLaVolpe says:

      How about you get the fuck over yourself? Your sensitive little ears are not going to fall off just because someone wrote a couple of wingdings on a poster as a stand in for a real swear word.

  • Capote99 says:

    Is Brooklyn Decker having a bowling ball?

  • mcC says:

    Wow! They really photoshopped J.Lo into oblivion! are those elven ears I see? oh no, they just cut part of her head off in post production, I get that. seriously, if it didn't say "jennifer lopez" on the poster I'd be all: Huh? Who's that?

  • MartiniShark says:

    Every single one of them looks waifish and in great shape, save for the prosthetic uterine swell. It's almost like a Jenny Craig ad suggesting pregnancy for a slimmer body. Haven't they heard of "method"?

    • S.T. VanAirsdale says:

      I'm particularly intrigued by the matrimonial connotations. Like, the angry/horny ones are wearing wedding rings; the one bragging about her "rack" after being "knocked up" is not married. I imagine the film itself unpacks these combinations in even more stimulating ways.

      • MartiniShark says:

        Add to that how Kendrick's character looks pretty together - already has a nursery set up,looks great in the 1st trimester - then they have her basically admitting pissing on a swap was a mental challenge for her.

  • Megan says:

    Pretty much all of these look like agonizingly over-airbrushed women with NBA-size basketballs forcibly crammed up Old Navy tank tops. I feel bad for Anna most of all, simply because I like her loads better than the other women. Especially you, Lopez.

  • Morgo says:

    Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez look right at home. They don't experience humiliation like normal people. Poor Anna!

  • ubisububi says:

    Yeah, I have a thought: what the hell are you talking about? They are, each and every one, incredibly beautiful, pregnant or not.

  • Max Renn says:

    I initially wondered why Jane Fonda had Elizabeth Banks' name above her.

    Anna Kendrick just looks gassy.

    Only the J-Lo lookalike gets out easy, with the least offensive tagline.

  • Tony says:

    All this movie is missing is Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler.

  • Jean Renoir says:

    I hope we get to see a sweaty actress with a fake baby bump take a big dump or something - because that would be pretty funny and humiliating to women, which is what these movies are really all about. And oh yeah, one of them should get hit in the face like Snookie because that would be good too.

  • [...] First the What to Expect When You’re Expecting poster, now this. It just wasn’t Elizabeth Banks’s week. That’ll teach her to take [...]

  • Jay says:

    What to Expect When You're Expecting has, for years helped couples prepare for baby. That having been said, to take such a text and use its title to sell what one might think is a bromance movie (theater posters with what looks like The Hangover crew) or a sexist flick (actresses who wouldn't dare ruin their figures), is selling out. Dr Spock wasn't authorized for any movie. Let's all just stay home with our kids