Will a Bunch of Earnest Actors Make You Want to See War Horse?

The actors in War Horse whinny for Oscar cred in the new promotional spot for the Spielberg epic. Though the elegance of the Broadway play's amazing horse puppetry has been shamefully replaced by real horses, we're supposed to believe the cinematic adaptation is just as poignant. Sigh. Let's hear them out.

BRAVERY. HUMANITY. LOYALTY. HORSEYNESS. It doesn't take a failed beat poet to tell you that the recitation of buzzwords like "LOYALTY" and "HUMANITY" is just pretentious and meaningless. So, bad job there, War Horse trailer. Otherwise, I admit there's a smoothness to this trailer that makes the movie appealing. As of right now, I'm not rooting for any other movie to unseat it as the Best Picture frontrunner -- not even The Artist, and that has a magical animal too, in Uggie. Here's hoping War Horse is more than a live-action Lisa Frank folder with Appaloosas and rainbows on it. So far I'm seeing a nicely laminated display of cute equines. Please do some inspiring E.T. shit, horsies!