Grading Jason Segel's First Five Tweets

Jason Segel, the roving Apatow muse and Jim Henson scion, has joined Twitter in a last-minute PR blitz for The Muppets, which hits theaters November 23. Thus far he's tweeted about five times, which means we should rate each 140-character quip and help Mr. Segel to better his tweeting skills. I'm ready to judge!

Congrats on your first tweet, Mr. Segel. It's a cheerful, but staid introduction. You sound like the MS Word Paperclip, and you're already showing signs of exclamation point abuse. We expect more flavor in the future. Rating: 2 (out of 5)

This is an @reply, so regular judgments don't apply. Still, the peppy voicelessness is a concern. Rating: N/A

"Equal time for most of you"? That strikes me as very unlikely. We're talking about 100,000+ followers, after all. Also, the phrase "new friends" was Twitter-patented by Ellen Barkin weeks ago. Please do not tread on the masterworks of Ms. Barkin. Score: 1

Credit where it's due: He tweeted a cute pic. Abuse of Twitpic-ing is a celebrity disease, but for the purposes of account verification, he's done well here. Score: 4

An explanatory tweet, but a decent one. We're going to need typical tweet jokes about Starbucks patrons, pederast uncles, and the nerve of Kim Kardashian soon, but for now he's skating by on an overall B-. Score: 2

[@JasonSegel]