Grading Jason Segel's First Five Tweets

Jason Segel, the roving Apatow muse and Jim Henson scion, has joined Twitter in a last-minute PR blitz for The Muppets, which hits theaters November 23. Thus far he's tweeted about five times, which means we should rate each 140-character quip and help Mr. Segel to better his tweeting skills. I'm ready to judge!

Hello tweet universe! This is Jason Segel and this is my first official tweet! Thank you for having me. I look forward to meeting you all!
Nov 11 via Twitter for iPhoneFavoriteRetweetReply

Congrats on your first tweet, Mr. Segel. It's a cheerful, but staid introduction. You sound like the MS Word Paperclip, and you're already showing signs of exclamation point abuse. We expect more flavor in the future. Rating: 2 (out of 5)

@MuppetOscars I just wanted to say hi! I'm @jasonsegel and I'm now officially on Twitter!!
Nov 11 via Twitter for iPhoneFavoriteRetweetReply

This is an @reply, so regular judgments don't apply. Still, the peppy voicelessness is a concern. Rating: N/A

This is the best day ever. So many new friends already. I will do my best to make equal time for most of you
Nov 11 via Twitter for iPhoneFavoriteRetweetReply

"Equal time for most of you"? That strikes me as very unlikely. We're talking about 100,000+ followers, after all. Also, the phrase "new friends" was Twitter-patented by Ellen Barkin weeks ago. Please do not tread on the masterworks of Ms. Barkin. Score: 1

In the process of getting verified. In the meantime I thought this might help!!! Thanks for being so nice!!
Nov 11 via Photos on iOSFavoriteRetweetReply


Credit where it's due: He tweeted a cute pic. Abuse of Twitpic-ing is a celebrity disease, but for the purposes of account verification, he's done well here. Score: 4

As a thank you to all fellow Muppet lovers out there, I'll be tweeting pics from the PREMIERE TOMORROW. Truly a dream come true. Go Muppets!
Nov 11 via Twitter for iPhoneFavoriteRetweetReply

An explanatory tweet, but a decent one. We're going to need typical tweet jokes about Starbucks patrons, pederast uncles, and the nerve of Kim Kardashian soon, but for now he's skating by on an overall B-. Score: 2