Another Steve Carell Project, and 6 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Happy Friday! Also in this edition of The Broadsheet: Hysteria coming to theaters... Your one-stop Shame sex-talk shop... Another Spider-Man stage player takes a tumble... Lou Reed and Metallica explore the outer limits of unlistenability... and more.

· In the spirit of Will Smith and Ridley Scott, Steve Carell might deserve one of Movieline's surveys of rumored projects you'll probably never see: The actor is now linked to Lunatics, an adaptation of the comic novel about soccer-dad combatants that is Carell's third reported movie in development in the last 10 days. Someone's publicist deserves a booooo-nus.

[Deadline]

· Hysteria -- AKA the Maggie Gyllenhaal vibrator movie that debuted this fall in Toronto -- will be distributed via Sony Pictures Classics. [Press release]

· Four actual headlines/stories from the Los Angeles Times's 24 Frames blog: "Michael Fassbender: NC-17 rating could help Shame." "Michael Fassbender exposes more than skin in Shame." "Michael Fassbender's naked girlfriends in sex drama Shame." "Carey Mulligan: I wasn't uncomfortable being naked in Shame." And in the latest, this quote from director Steve McQueen: "To go to pay to see nude people in Shame -- you're wasting your money." Well? Which is it? [LAT]

· Speaking of the LAT, here's an amusing anecdote about some consultants who thought it might be worth making the newspaper -- like the actual paper -- smell like "Starbucks and coffee cake." [The Atlantic Wire]

· Matthew James Thomas, who plays the lead in Broadway matinees of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark took 10 stitches this week after an unspecified head injury. The producers say he's fine and will be back to work on Sunday. Indeed! The show must go WHACK [Newsday via THR]

· And it begins: Cars.com is the first (known) sponsor to pull its advertising from Penn State football broadcasts on ESPN. [WSJ]

· I defy anybody to listen to the entirety of Lou Reed and Metallica's cover of Reed's classic "White Light/White Heat". Like, seriously: I don't think it can be done. The crowd in this video probably left in shifts and then came back to applaud. Lord knows the sound man didn't stick around. [via Grantland]