Bill Paxton Could Direct Kung Fu, and 6 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Also in today's edition of The Broadsheet: Big-screen Fall Guy reboot gains speed... An evangelical Christian blockbuster is en route to a reboot... A Verge favorite lands a new role... Guess who's getting the porn treatment... and more.

· Some mornings I feel like I just can't do this any more -- not because there's anything inherently disaffecting or terrible about news that Bill Paxton (yes, that Bill Paxton) is rumored to be in discussions to direct a movie reboot of the TV show Kung Fu, but because, like, I don't know. Is this interesting? I mean, I think so? I can't tell. Someone persuade me to look forward to hearing more about this or Sunlight Jr. or Untitled Werewolf Thriller, please, or just put me down like one of those ruined carriage horses at the end of its run. Either/or, whatever works. [Deadline]

· Ah, here's another one: "Martin Campbell Eyeing The Fall Guy," a report that the man who brought you Green Lantern may pair with the writers of Thor and X-Men: First Class to revive the '80s stuntman-cum-bounty hunter TV show. Whatever. [Deadline]

· Or how about this: "Left Behind, the faith-based, action-packed book and movie series about the End Times, is getting a film reboot." This one will apparently have a more of a disaster edge; the producers are presently on the lookout for a director, and/or a beating. [THR]

· Erstwhile Verge designee Corey Stoll -- who broke into the big-time big-screen ranks this year as Ernest Hemingway in Midnight in Paris -- will be back at the movies in the indie dramedy Decoding Annie Parker. Stoll will play Sean, a young doctor who befriends Samantha Morton's title character and tries to help her achieve her medical goals. [Press Release]

· The sordid sexual-assault saga of Dominique Strauss-Kahn will finally get the porn-flick treatment you always hoped it receive. [Gawker]

· Three days after leading his team to one of the more dramatic World Series victories in the last 20 years, veteran St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa called it a career. Right behind ya, buddy. [AP]