Joss Whedon Made a Secret Movie, and 5 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Happy Monday! Also in today's edition of The Broadsheet: Johnny Depp's Rum Diary boycott... Scientology's stealth war vs. the South Park boys... Metallica seeks film moguldom... Michael Pitt didn't quit, he was fired... and more.

· Literally overnight, the producers of Much Ado About Nothing -- a new Joss Whedon film "based on a play" and shot in apparent utter secrecy -- launched a Web site featuring a broad, Whedon-veteran ensemble cast (including Nathan Fillion, Sean Maher, Clark Gregg, Amy Acker and many more) and little else. It's reportedly confirmed to be real, though little else is known about it -- from its roots in (or fidelity to) the Shakespeare comedy of the same name to how the hell Whedon filmed anything in the midst of The Avengers. Guesses are welcome! [Much Ado About Nothing via The Wrap]

· ABC affiliates are forbidden from talking to Johnny Depp about his debauched, Hunter Thomspon-inflected The Rum Diary, lest it compromise the showing for this week's DVD release of his family-friendly Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Indeed! Because Jack Sparrow is so straight and narrow. [KHOU via THR]

· Hilarious, scary or both? A former high-ranking Scientology leader this weekend "released what he said was an internal Scientology document which suggests that the church targeted Trey Parker and Matt Stone for a classic OSA investigation in retaliation for the infamous South Park episode that exposed the religion's bizarre upper-level teachings." You'll never believe where this goes. I mean, you might? But I doubt it. [Marty Rathbun via Village Voice]

· Metallica is reportedly underwriting a 3-D feature film, hiring Charlotte Huggins -- the co-producer on such Metallica-esque 3-D features like Journey to the Center of the Earth and Journey 2: The Mysterious Island -- to help them get started.


· Michael Pitt last week exited UTA for WME, but not before UTA could swing at the Boardwalk Empire actor on his way out the door: "[P]lease note that UTA fired him as a client yesterday because he's really difficult on set and otherwise." Mm-hmm. [THR, Deadline]

· Joe Biden hasn't yet decided if he'd follow a successful Obama reelection campaign with a presidential bid of his own. Fair enough! It would be awfully presumptuous at this stage, to say nothing of completely batshit delusional. [NYT]

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