Help Solve the Mystery of Owen Wilson's Disfiguring Zoolander 2 Injury

OwenWilsonZoolander300.jpgThis past May, Ben Stiller gave us hope that a sequel to Zoolander could still happen...if only Paramount would approve the script. And now Owen Wilson is teasing fans of the 2001 modeling comedy by offering some clues about his character's role in the much-anticipated Twolander. "Hansel, he's fallen on hard times," Wilson told MTV. "There's been a disfiguring injury." When pressed for further explanation, the actor offered one hint that could help unlock the sequel's plot. Put on your most fashionable detective hat and join us after the jump to help us solve this modeling sequel mystery.

When asked what kind of injury his character, Hansel, would incur in the sequel, Wilson revealed, "Think Vanilla Sky." In celebration of this clue, let's take a moment to brainstorm some possible accidents and injuries that could affect the top fashion model. I'll start out with a few suggestions...

· Hansel's jealous ex (played by Cameron Diaz) tries to kill herself and Hansel in a car crash upon hearing about his new lover. Hansel escapes with disfiguring facial injuries.

· Tom Cruise (played by Tom Cruise) challenges Hansel to a walk-off that goes horrible wrong when Hansel falls off the runway and is maimed. In the face.

· Anticipating the onset of old age, Hansel attempts to have his face cryogenically frozen only to incur irreparable cryo-frostbite.

Earlier this year, Stiller described the Zoolander sequel that he hoped to make a decade later:

"It's ten years later and most of it is set in Europe... it's basically Derek and Hansel... though the last movie ended on a happy note a lot of things have happened in the meantime. Their lives have changed and they're not really relevant anymore. It's a new world for them. Will Ferrell is written into the script and he's expressed interest in doing it. I think Mugatu is an integral part of the Zoolander story, so yes, he features in a big way."

Submit your best guesses about Hansel's fate below! More Zoolander 2 (or Two-lander) developments as they come...

· 'Zoolander 2' Will Disfigure Hansel, Owen Wilson Teases [MTV]


  • KRIS the KLINGON says:

    Hansel is approved for some of that "Six Million Dollar Man" surgery, gets halfway through, then the
    government funding gets cut off, and he is kicked out.
    Either that, or good old-fashioned BEAR ATTACK!

  • meh... says:

    He gets his nose fixed??
    too much botox/plastic surgery and looks like Joan Rivers?

  • jimrockford says:

    After a tragic liposuction mishap, Hansel must change his name to Gretel.

  • ILDC says:

    He's not played by Owen Wilson?

  • Andrew says:

    No thanks Owen Wilson, I'd rather not think of Vanilla Sky.

  • Jack R says:

    If Wilson isn't self conscious about it I think it'd be hilarious to put a 'normal' prosthetic nose over his signature/distinct real nose, which causes him to 'look like everyone else' and therefore no longer be hip and different. I can't think of a more ironic comment on perceived physical beauty.

  • stolidog says:

    yes, this.

  • Jonathan says:

    I have a feeling it'll be like, a really tiny scar, or maybe even just a haircut that no one but other models will feel is "disfiguring."

  • Lee says:

    I bet his "Disfigurment" is really something stupid - like a blackhead - that his model brain perceives to be disfiguring and stops him from working. Might even be crows feet, or wrinkles, and he wears a Vanilla Sky mask to cover it up because he's so superficial.