Grow Up, Star Wars Fans, and 7 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Happy Friday! Also in this edition of The Broadsheet: Lindsay Lohan will probably regret her new tattoo ... Scarlett Johansson has a new man in politics ... Contagion is sexier than first thought ... Old pals Werner Herzog and Errol Morris make the news together again ... and more...

· Setting aside the crucial matters of George Lucas's greed and ego, EW's Darren Franich has nevertheless offered a desperately needed wake-up call to a nation of emotionally stunted Star Wars fanboys: "Unfortunately, we live in an era of nostalgia, and nostalgia makes everything look profound, especially the stupid things you enjoyed when you were a kid. Take Return of the Jedi. Jedi is a bad movie by every measure, but I loved it when I was a kid, because when I was a kid I was much stupider than I am now, because kids are stupid. [...] The reason why we hate George Lucas is because we are George Lucas: Eternally obsessed with putting a spit-shine on films from long ago, insisting that Star Wars is the modern myth, and so it can never stop evolving." You know who you are. [EW]

· "Clear as a crystal sharp as a knife / I feel like I'm in the prime of my life." Those aren't just terrible Billy Joel lyrics any more -- it's the couplet freshly tattooed on Lindsay Lohan's right upper ribcage. Huh. I would have thought perhaps, "It might just be a lunatic you're looking for." [TMZ]

· Scarlett Johansson is campaigning for Manhattan borough president Scott Stringer to become New York City's next mayor: "Scott's passion for New York is contagious. We share a love for this city's diversity and culture. As a native New Yorker with a political history dedicated to community development, Scott's priorities echo my own." To wit: Stringer also employs Johansson's brother Hunter. [NYP]

· Just how sexy is the eponymous plague in the upcoming Contagion? The sneeze-fetishist community has the answer. [Gawker]

· Sundance Selects has acquired North American rights to Werner Herzog's new Death Row documentary Into the Abyss, which screens for the first this weekend in Telluride. [Deadline]

· Not to be outdone, Herzog's longtime filmmaking peer and philosophical sparring partner Errol Morris has officially released his new book about photography, Believing is Seeing -- "an excursion into the labyrinth of the past and into the fabric of reality." [Brain Pickings]

· Fun fact: A total of eight produced Black List alums will be premiering at this year's Toronto International Film Festival. [LAT]

· The producers of Napoleon Dynamite have filed suit against Fox Searchlight, claiming the distributor -- which catapulted the micro-budget cult darling to a $46 million gross -- owes them more than $10 million in home-video royalties. Not very freaking sweet. [Variety]