10 Suggested Items for Robert Pattinson's Fashion Line
Kellan Lutz revealed that his buddy Robert Pattinson has casually discussed the prospect of becoming a fashion designer. Now that's exciting: Who wouldn't want to buy a scarf or puka shell necklace from the label Vampy Pattz or Cullen's Collective or whatever? I'm in. And better yet, I'm helping R-Pattz on the way to his goal of becoming the next Christian Dior/Jon Gosselin. Here are ten fashionable items he should hawk.
1. Sweatproof sternum glitter
2. "Soulless vampire void" contact lenses
3. Bikini briefs with "goblet of fire" codpiece.
4. Butter-colored sunblock (for all your butter-colored vampire sex scenes)
5. THE STOLI T.
6. Tiny Water for Elephants ringmaster hat that doesn't disturb your artfully disheveled haircut
7. "Remember Me suspenders" emblazoned with billowing, hand-knit twin towers
8. Quidditch-safe culottes for men
9. Insulting "Team Jacob" polka dot vest with faux-fur wolf pendant
10. Reputation-recouping "I Really Don't Hang Out Much With Kellan Lutz" t-shirts
Any more design proposals out there?