The 9 Most Scathing Critical Responses to Zookeeper

A funny thing about low-hanging fruit: it's easy to pick! As such, it's not surprising that critics are piling on the latest Kevin James vehicle, Zookeeper. The "comedy" sports an impressively poor 14 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, worse even than previous summer punching bags Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer and Green Lantern. Ahead, the nine best of the worst reviews.

9. "As a study in insanity, Zookeeper is mildly interesting. But as a kiddie comedy, it's something to watch only once the little ones have worn out their Dr. Dolittle DVD--maybe even their Dr. Dolittle 2 DVD, for that matter." -- Keith Phipps, AV Club

8. "The worst transgressor is Adam Sandler, indulgently vocalizing a Capuchin monkey as a cross between Gilbert Gottfried and Louis Armstrong. If this ploy amuses you, you're probably a Barney fan." -- David Hiltbrand, Philadelphia Inquirer

7. "There's no 'The' in the title of the Kevin James comedy Zookeeper, and that lack of a definitive article pretty well encapsulates the generic fat man follies on display here." -- Robert Abele, Los Angeles Times

6. "Ultimately, it's a marketing pitch in search of a movie that proves punishingly flat, with even the slapstick so sparsely delivered as to replicate a long slog through the zoo, surrounded by fidgety kids, on a suffocating summer's day." -- Brian Lowry, Variety

5. "I have a hard time buying the central premise of Zookeeper. Hot women being interested in Kevin James? Come on. You'd have an easier time convincing me that animals can talk!" -- Eric D. Snider, EricDSnider.com

4. "If you take the talking animals out of it, it would be truly unwatchable. As it is, it's the work of uncaring hacks and lazy Hollywood players cashing paychecks at the expense of family audiences worldwide. I felt like I was in captivity watching it" -- Teddy Durgin, ScreenIt

3. "The animals aren't completely to blame for Zookeeper. Unless they made it. Which is possible. It's hard to think of a human finding much to laugh about in this wounded beast." -- Scott Bowles, USA Today

2. "[S]itting through Zookeeper is a literally excruciating experience. ... If a worse movie is released this year, I hope I don't have to see it." -- Glenn Kenny, MSN

1. "Joe Rogan shows up as a romantic rival, arriving just as the direction moves from hopelessly inept to astoundingly bad. Bibb's beauty -- so archetypal that rather than reading pretty her features seem to spell out the word -- works well for her ridiculously fatuous character, and Dawson's warmth preserves most of her dignity, excepting a sub-yogurt commercial dance sequence. There's a late-breaking epiphany, a race to the airport, a credits sing-along to 'More Than a Feeling,' outtakes, and a missed opportunity for a clutch King Kong reference, because this is the kind of film that refers only to itself, or films exactly like it, and the box office numbers behind them. An inbred genetic chain is forming between them, and the experience of watching a film like Zookeeper is a lot like feeling your wrists and neck being bound to the chair by its links." -- Michelle Orange, Movieline