Weinergate: Let's Cast the Inevitable Anthony Weiner Film

It's the political scandal of the moment -- until the next political scandal of the moment. New York congressman Anthony Weiner was busted for engaging in "inappropriate online exchanges with at least six women, and repeatedly lying about sending a sexually suggestive photograph to a young woman over Twitter last month." (Somewhere, John Edwards is saying, "Oh, is that all?") In a summer of superheros and precocious kids, Weiner stands out as -- well, a wiener. And knowing Hollywood, that means a film about the formerly rising (ding!) political star cannot be far behind. Ahead, Movieline offers five casting suggestions for the inevitable Weinergate.

raven-gennette630.jpg

Adrien Brody as Anthony Weiner

There are few Hollywood leading men in Anthony Weiner's age bracket that can give the still-seated congressman a run for his money in the Adam's apple department. (Andrew Garfield is close, but far too young for this role.) At 38, Adrien Brody is only eight years Weiner's junior, possesses the requisite strong apple, and is originally from Woodhaven, New York -- a neighborhood inside the 9th District that Weiner represents. A better fit simply isn't possible.

raven-gennette630.jpg

Rosario Dawson as Huma Abedin

Some background on Huma Abedin: Married to Weiner for barely one year, she's also a political up and comer. (Ding?) Abedin started her career as an intern during the Clinton administration, and later became Hillary Clinton's traveling chief of staff during the 2008 campaign for the Democratic Party nomination. That's all well and good, but what matters for this exercise is that she looks like a bevvy of Hollywood starlets -- Abedin bares a passing resemblance to both Gwen Stefani and Olivia Thirlby (too blond and too young, respectively), but neither bring the looks and toughness together like Rosario Dawson does. That Dawson is also very politically minded herself, is an added bonus.

raven-gennette630.jpg

David Morse as Andrew Breitbart

Andrew Breitbart broke Weinergate open last week, and then on Monday hijacked the congressman's press conference -- a ridiculous sequence of events which Jon Stewart correctly dubbed something akin to an episode of Maury. With his beady eyes and oily demeanor, Breitbart certainly recalls Will Ferrell's performance as George W. Bush, but that might be a bit too on the nose. Give David Morse twenty pounds, though, and Breitbart could come to cinematic life. For what it's worth, Val Kilmer would also work here, though probably only if Oliver Stone directed.

raven-gennette630.jpg

Sarah Hyland as Meagan Broussard

26-year-old Texas resident Meagan Broussard was one of at least six women that Anthony Weiner sent sexually charged messages and photographs to. "I just thought it was risky. Real risky," she said to ABC News. Not that risk prevented her from sending some sexually charged images back. Oh, well! Broussard looks very much like Rena Sofer, but since she's almost 20 years older than Texas nurse, Modern Family star Sarah Hyland gets the call. (Alternatively, Hyland could play Bristol Palin in the movie version of Sarah Palin's The Undefeated.)

raven-gennette630.jpg

Raven-Symoné as Gennette Cordova

Poor Gennette Cordova. The girl voted "Most Likely to Be Involved in a Tabloid Scandal" by her high school classmates, actually was: She mistakenly received a crotch shot from Weiner over Twitter, and was the Patient Zero of the entire scandal. Courtesy of her Facebook page, she also looks a lot like Raven-Symoné. That's so Raven random!

[Photos: Getty Images]



Comments

  • Vidalia says:

    Duchovny, if Brody is unavailable...

  • snideproject says:

    John Slattery with a dye job, if Brody and Duchovny are unavailable.

  • The WInchester says:

    Or William Fichtner in Drive Angry classy suit get up.
    Actually, I'm of the mind that guy should be cast in everything.
    "It's Confederated Products, it's a different company and an entirely different quality of product!"

  • Ashok Shah says:

    These tips are really very helpful for people who want to start P90x workout because beginners do not know from where to start workout and what to follow!

  • ILDC says:

    Isn't Sarah Hyland just a younger version of Mila Kunis? Why not get her?

  • j'accuse! says:

    But then that will just make Congressman Weiner look rakish and dashing. Ok, works for me.

  • Ben says:

    Colm Meaney for Breitbart, hands down. If he's not available, Tom Sizemore.

  • Megan says:

    Adrien Brody IMMEDIATELY came to mind for me. Clearly, it's the nose.

  • Strawberry Pain says:

    Ditto.

  • blizzard bound says:

    John Lithgow as Andrew Breitbart.

  • Vidalia says:

    AGREE. (this coming from probably the only person to have paid to see Drive Angry...TWICE).

  • Microparsec says:

    This article is way too funny; I was literally laughing out loud! My only comment is, I'd probably go with Jon Stewart for the leading role. (I also have to agree with John Lithgow's pick. He could be a great Bernie Madoff as well, if & when that movie gets made [off]. 🙂 )