Finally, the Last Word About Charlie Sheen

NYT critic A.O. Scott went to Detroit and all we got was this devastating truth about Charlie Sheen's catastrophic live debut -- and, by extension, the larger Sheen phenomenon in general:

You could say that Mr. Sheen and the audience failed each other. The ticket buyers did not show him the "love and gratitude" to which he felt entitled, and he did not give them the kind of entertainment they thought they had paid for. But you could also say that the performer and the audience deserved each other, and that their mutual contempt was its own kind of bond. [...]

We profess dismay at Mr. Sheen's long history of drug abuse and violence against women, but we have also enabled and indulged this behavior, and lately encouraged his delusional belief that he could beat the toxic fame machine at its own game. The price of a ticket to one of his shows represents a wager that it is impossible to lose. The audience that walked out of the Fox could feel righteously ripped off and thus morally superior to the man they had paid to see, who seemed to feel the same about them. Win-win!

So now the question is: Will the shows go on? Will career suicide become Mr. Sheen's new career? Or is he finished? I know I am.

Oy. But here's the really bracing part: Scott could just as easily be referring to your summer blockbusters, your reality TV (or hell, half your scripted TV), your top-40 radio, your junk food, your big-box stores, your politicians... Ultimately, the cross-cultural implications of Detroit have less to do with Charlie Sheen bombing than with how it looks, sounds and feels when we realize -- and suddenly resent -- getting the America we deserve.

Of course, you could always argue, "That's just Detroit being Detroit"; after all, Sunday night's tour stop in Chicago reportedly featured a toned-down star sweet-talking a far less confrontational crowd. He said he wanted his hit TV show Two and a Half Men back and apologized for calling co-star a "troll." He lauded the audience and lamented the "death sentence" endured in Michigan. The attendees reciprocated with warmth and appreciation. So much for the "violent torpedo of truth" Sheen marketed as his road show's flagship.

Either way, the lesson is clear for Sheen and all who bow at his warlock altar: Make peace with mediocrity, and all shall be forgiven. Ask for anything more, and pay the consequences. Approach your work week accordingly, I suppose.

· Belligerent and Boozy, and That's Just the Audience [NYT]