On First Dates, Stalking, and Dating Co-Stars: Celebrity Love Lessons from the Movieline Vault

Who knows more about sex, dating, breaking up, and making bad decisions in the name of love than A-listers like Drew Barrymore, Johnny Depp and Charlie Sheen? This Valentine's Day take a trip into the Movieline Vault -- home of over 20 years of revealing, to-the-point celebrity interviews -- for lessons on first dates, inadvisable hook-ups, and more, straight from the mouths of Hollywood's brightest stars. Well, circa 1990.

1. Don't blow the first date.

Twenty-year-old Leonardo di Caprio, speaking with Movieline's Martha Frankel, remembers his very first date and how it went so very wrong.

DiCaprio closes his eyes. "I went out with this girl named Cessi, this little Spanish beautiful girl. I was in the eighth grade. We had this beautiful relationship over the phone all summer, she was away, and we were so close and so bonded and we'd tell each other everything. And then she came home, and we went out to the movies for the first lime, and, oh God, I wanted it to be so perfect. So I put on my light-blue turtleneck, which I thought was cool at the time. It was a turtleneck I bought from Kmart or something. When I saw Cessi, I was petrified and I couldn't even look her in the eye or speak to her."

"After telling her your deepest thoughts on the phone all summer?"

"Exactly. That's the way humans are. And then we saw When Harry Met Sally... and I couldn't move, I couldn't look at her in the seat or any-thing. But the movie took me away. For two hours I was at peace because she was watching the movie and I didn't have this responsibility on me to be Superboy. And then afterwards, I remember eating a French dip and I was trying to get some control of the situation. So I was trying to not put her down exactly, but I was looking at her like she was ridiculous while she was eating this French dip. And she was really shy. And finally she said, 'Do you have a problem with me eating this sandwich?' And I said, 'No, no, not at all.' But I was acting really weird. And that was our last date. I was in love with her for a year after that but I couldn't go near her, because I was so mortified. So that's my first-date story."

[Excerpted from Leonardo di Caprio: The Young Lion, March 1, 1995]

2. Go ahead and stalk your crush.

Drew Barrymore, age 17, tells Stephen Rebello about the high profile Hollywood crush (name withheld) she's been stalking, to no avail.

"See, I've really been in love with the same guy -- an actor -- for eight years. We've only really met twice, both times he was with other girls. I had such butterflies that I didn't want to be like, 'Hi, I'm in love with you. F*ck -- marry me,' so I went, 'Hi nice to meet you,' and walked away."

Hearing recently that her obsession's highly-publicized romance had gone kaput, Barrymore took matters into her own hands. "I knew he was on location for a movie, so I called every hotel in the state," she says, adding, dispiritedly: "I never found him. But I would have taken the risk to say, 'Hi, this is Drew. You remember me, right? Great. Good. I'm just calling to see if you wanna go out on a date.' I would have f*cking embarrassed myself, swallowed my pride just to take the chance that he wouldn't have said, 'Are you f*cking kidding me?' Click. I have all these feelings for him and I don't really know him. I ask my friends all the time if they've seen him around. I read every interview on him and he's so sweet, so nice. I was even bugging the Movieline photographer today, 'Are you shooting him soon?' Oh, I am soooooooo crazy about him." [Excerpted from Drew Barrymore: The Return of Drew, March 1, 1992]

3. Getting your beloved's name tattooed on your body? Why not.

Johnny Depp, counting down the days left on his 21 Jump Street contract, thinks this "Winona Forever" business will work out just fine.

Not the least of these twists has to do with "Winona Forever." That's how the scroll-like tattoo reads when Depp strips off his jacket to proudly display his bared biceps. This is but the latest of Depp's skin engravings, which even Cry-Baby satirizes as a fetish of the actor's. "Betty Sue" -- a bright red heart commemorating his mother--adorns one arm; an Indian chief's head, a salute to his bloodlines, stares out from his other.

"It was no big deal for him, because he's had tattoos done before," says Mike Messina of Sunset Strip Tattoo -- "Tattooers of the Stars Since 1971" -- whom Depp engaged for about $75 to needle into his flesh his feelings for Winona Ryder, the actress whom he currently acts with by day in Edward Scissorhands and cohabits with by night. "The fact that we're together and we're in love certainly won't hurt the movie," Depp says, with a warily happy smile. "Winona and I are engaged. It's official. She has a lot of talent and, aside from that, I also happen to love her. I'm sure we're going to do more things together. People have had great success at that, like John Cassavetes and Gena Rowlands. In a perfect world, I'd just do movies with [Winona], John Waters, and Tim Burton, and live happily ever after." [Excerpted from Johnny Depp: Johnny Handsome, May 1, 1990]

4. Always request lady interviewers.

Liam Neeson plays smooth operator with interviewer Dana Kennedy.

I ask Neeson why he specifically requests female journalists. "I gravitate toward women," he says.

"Do you ask for them so you can charm them?" I inquire.

"My antennae are operating most strongly with women," he answers.

Also:

When Neeson first talks about sex, he's thinking about his on-again, off-again love affair with something really hot. Cigarettes. What? "The first time I lit one," he sighs, looking out past the balcony to the panorama of Central Park, "I had an erection." [Excerpted from Liam Neeson: Puttin' on the Ritz, January 1, 1992]

5. Don't date your co-stars. Seriously.

Speaking with Stephen Rebello, a Terminal Velocity-era Charlie Sheen opened with a gem:

Sprawled on the leather seat of his bus-size trailer, Sheen kicks back with a Corona before replying, "Never sleep with your co-star if you really want to be sexy together in a movie, because f*cking offscreen can dissipate the energy on-screen, you know? And never sleep with your co-star if her p*ssy smells like her butthole." When he sees my jaw drop in response to this pearl of wisdom. Sheen backtracks a little by saying, "And ... I can't think of more reasons, maybe because I've been making so many movies with other guys.

Also:

"I'd like to jam Bridget Fonda," he drawls. "She's sexy. Really sexy. I think we would be good together. Meg Ryan and I should do a movie, because, if you combine the grosses of the movies that she and I have turned down, it's like eight billion dollars. Someone who's a real hammer is Polly Walker, who killed me in Patriot Games. Then, she got married and pregnant. Jeesh. Marisa Tomei? Every year at the Oscars, there's one that slips by. When she won against those incredible actresses, I went, 'What the f*ck? Did we all see the same f*cking movie?'

Then, real talk from the future Two and a Half Men star:

"Love, lust -- I mean, he talked about understanding the difference between the two," Sheen continues, his face turning serious. "And to this day, I'm not sure I know the difference. I think maybe I've been in love, but I don't know. Maybe I have been in love with the idea of being in love. Maybe I've been in love with the lust of love. But I've never really had my heart broken, you know." [Excerpted from Charlie Sheen: Charlie's Devils, September 1, 1994]

We know, Charlie. We know. Young lovers, take these nuggets of advice to heart as you navigate the choppy waters of romance today. Happy Valentine's Day!