Discuss: What is God's 'Big Plan' For Lindsay Lohan, Anyway?
Regardless of your interest in the ongoing travails of Lindsay Lohan, a very interesting development has arisen in the aftermath of her most recent criminal episode. After the former actress was set free by a judge despite breaking probation in a felony grand theft case, Lohan's mother Dina reportedly told an eager-eared gossip that the whole sordid drama was in fact, "All good. God has a big plan." Oh, does He now?
God has not responded to repeated requests for comment or clarification, but that didn't stop the amateur theologians at ML HQ from interpreting the Lohan scenario through a more spiritual lens. What could God's "big plan" for Lindsay Lohan be, anyway? A few rough ideas to start with:
· Playing Daisy Buchanan in Uwe Boll's adaptation of The Great Gatsby
· Starring in Groupon's next superbly received Super Bowl commercial.
· A position in Egypt's eventual new Cabinet
· The endangered female lead in Sanctum II: The Rising
· A trip to Glamour Shots followed by her own "Consider... Lindsay Lohan" casting campaign
· Developing the wildly successful (if not quite lucrative) perfume brand 4 Kleptoz
· Hosting the Oscars
· Imminent incarceration, penury and abjection
· Lindsay Lohan's Mom Isn't Worried: 'God Has a Plan' [PopEater]