Gleebasing: Fat Bottomed Girls Make Valentine's Day Go Round

HIGH NOTES

· Lauren: These candies you gave me, they sucked.

Puck: But you ate all of them.

Lauren: Yeah, I had to make sure they all sucked.

· Finn taking a hygiene break to brush and floss during his shift at the kissing booth.

· Lauren telling Santana, "Don't make me rip that weave out'cha head."

· Santana declaring pre-fight, "I'm from a part of town called Lima Heights Adjacent. It's on the wrong side of the tracks."

· Artie and Mike Chang's hallway version of Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T."

LOW NOTES

· Tina's teary rendition of "My Funny Valentine."

· The continual jokes about Lauren's weight, from the "great white whale" nickname, the "Fat-Bottomed Girls" serenade to the gag that Santana could not even shove Lauren during their hallway fight because of her weight.

· The complete lack of Sue Sylvester.

GLEE-SARY

A Whole Lotta Woman -- (n.) Puck's pet name for his crush, Lauren.

Puppy Love -- (n.) A syrupy concept that makes Kurt sick to his stomach and is symbolized by two stuffed dogs kissing.

Break-Up Necklace -- (n.) This is a move designed by Finn. After Rachel -- who cheated on Finn earlier this year -- had a hissy-fit when her $1 only got her a kiss on the cheek, Finn handed her a box. A box that he had "just happened" to be carrying since December containing the necklace he was going to give her as a holiday gift. It reminded her Rachel had cheated and should leave Finn alone.

"I Really, Really Care About You" -- Translation: "I don't really, really care about you. Just one really."

POP QUIZ

1) Which of the following lessons did Puck learn the hard way?

a) You can't hotwire a Porsche.

b) You can't choose love -- love chooses you.

c) You can't sleep with your friend's mom without someone getting hurt.

d) You can't punch a cop.

2) Which president did Finn paraphrase in last night's episode?

a) George W. Bush

b) Abraham Lincoln

c) Theodore Roosevelt

d) John F. Kennedy

3) How much does Finn charge for a smooch at his kissing booth?

a) 1 dollar

b) 5 dollars

c) 10 dollars

d) 10 dollar gift cards to Hollister

4) Santana suggests a 12-step program for Schue because he is addicted to ______.

a) Hair gel

b) Humorless song and dance numbers

c) Vests

d) Irrelevant speeches about subjects like love, which he knows nothing about

5) What do Rachel, Mercedes and Kurt not do during their sleepover?

a) Braid each others hair

b) Binge-eat pizza

c) Talk about heartbreak

d) Give each other facials

ANSWERS: 1) b & d; 2) c; 3) a; 4) c; 5) d

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