Who Should Present This Year's Best Picture Oscar?
"Tom Hanks just announced as presenter. Will be the Best Pic presenter do we think?" And with this tweet today Oscar-watcher Sasha Stone has commenced the speculative chatter around the most influential temp job in Hollywood: Who will present this year's Academy Award for Best Picture? Better still, assuming it's not too late for America's voices to be heard, who should present the hardware?
As always, it depends on which way the Academy wants to go:
· Tom Hanks: The safe, conventional pick proved his Best Picture mettle last year, and there's precedent for repeat presenters in this category: Jack Nicholson, James Cagney and Eric Johnston have each done back-to-back Best Picture duty over the years. Plus he's beloved as anybody the Academy is going to get, except for maybe...
· Michael Douglas: I mean, come on: Will the Academy really let the frauds at the Golden Globes own the guy's comeback? Douglas has presented Best Picture twice previously and is bound to do it again eventually. No one will mind if he happens to give it to separate films at separate shows.
· Jane Fonda: One of Stone's readers has already suggested this, and why not? She co-hosted twice between the '70s and '80s, but hasn't presented anything at the Oscars since 2000. It's her time!
· Helen Mirren: Remember last year when Barbra Streisand came out to present Best Director, and everyone at your murmured in hushed/drunken awe over the historic portent at hand? This isn't quite the same, but if anyone is the obvious choice to hand the evening's top prize to its current frontrunner, Mirren seems like it. (Alternate: Mark Zuckerberg)
· Elizabeth Taylor: Just the surprise shot of old-school Hollywood legend the Oscars need. Except when was the last time anyone saw Liz in public? Can she even walk to the podium? Not to make fun, either! Mobility seems important here; we can't have one of the most celebrated movie stars ever puttering out on stage in her Lark or something. (Alternate: Ernest Borgnine)
· James Franco and Anne Hathaway: Let's save everyone the time at the end of a long night by absorbing presenting duties into the hosting job. "Here to present tonight's Best Picture... you're looking at 'em. The nominees are: Screw it. The Oscar goes to The King's Speech. Here you go, son... [Franco chucks statuette at Harvey Weinstein.] Good night!"
· The cast of Glee: Obviously, right?
· Werner Herzog and David Lynch: Because the eccentric geniuses must touch a Best Picture Oscar at some point in their careers, and I don't see any other way beyond this.
· Aaron Rodgers: The Academy and its network stewards at ABC could easily solve their persistent ratings inconsistencies by naming each year's reigning Super Bowl MVP as the Best Picture presenter. You know this idea rules. Unless Ben Roethlisberger happens to win again, in which case... yeah. Tom Hanks will do.