Weekend Forecast: 5 Haiku About the Worst Movie Weekend of the Year

So I was trawling a few sources for any genuinely stimulating context to write about this weekend's new releases, and the best I could really come up with is this: There is no reason to expend much more than a hundred words on a trio of films averaging 28% approval on Rotten Tomatoes (plus The Roommate, which hasn't yet screened for critics, and one acclaimed indie opening on one screen in NYC), especially on a weekend where the bulk of America's focus is on a football game in North Texas. Seventeen syllables per entry sounds about right, no?

NATIONAL FORECAST

· The Roommate

Scream, Minka Kelly!

Look scary, Leighton Meester!

DVD awaits.

FORECAST: $15.2 million

· Sanctum

Character asks, "What

could go wrong diving in caves?"

This film, for starters.

FORECAST: $14 million

REGIONAL OUTLOOK

· The Other Woman

Natalie Portman

made this stinker years ago.

I'd rewatch Black Swan.

(Opening in NYC, LA and on demand via IFC in Theaters)

· Waiting For Forever

Could it be as bad

as everyone seems to think?

RT scores don't lie...

(Opening in NYC, LA and Santa Monica)

· Cold Weather

Review forthcoming,

but for New York, anyway,

it might save the day.

(Opening in NYC and on demand via IFC in Theaters)