American Idol Top 3 Auditions: L.A.(M.E.)
American Idol turned into a quaint curiosity shop called The Not-So-Great American Hack Factory last night, offering what seemed like 40,000 terrible auditions and enough delusion to power a clone army of William Hungs. It was brutal, even for sketchy L.A. Let's find three auditions we liked. Don't be surprised if they're still a little unbearable.
Mark and Aaron Gutierrez
The brothers Gutierrez could carry a tune, but they also carried the soulless Kidz Bop flair of a Glee cattle call from hell. Their take on Bill Withers' "Lean On Me" was arguably more tuneful than Didi Benami's last year (though I STILL MISS YOU, GIRL), but I don't want some a cappella feel-good nonsense hijacking my Idol.
From the bowels of MySpace comes this pop tart who invades YourSpace with an over-embellished version of "You Give Good Love." I actually said out loud, "This is as good as MySpace gets?" before following with, "Eh, I bet it is." Karen's not bad, but she's hardly the Latina firebrand she seems to think she is. Allison Iraheta, come back to us.
This got two "yes" votes. Yes, this. This mumbled rendition of Maroon 5's elevator jam "Sunday Morning." Tim's range seems weak, his stage presence lacks, er, presence, and literally any competing male in Idol history could outsing him. Yes, I know who Tim Urban is.