American Idol's Top 3 Auditions: All the Lonely Wee-ple

Exhale, children: Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez didn't ruin American Idol last night. Not quite. They sat nearby while attention-starved banshees ruined American Idol (and our speakers) on their behalf, but that's OK. It's what the audition episodes are all about: our feeling demoralized and a little furious with manipulative, mean-spirited editing. Feels like home. Let's rake through the two-hour premiere and rehash the three youngsters whose auditions made Steven Tyler perk up like the bemused mugshot he is.

Robbie Rosen

"Yesterday"'s not my idea of an inspired song choice, but fluffy 'n shiny Robbie Rosen's here to make you believe in yesterday. The cargo-shorted Ben Shenkman clone trilled through a spotless rendition of the Beatles joint and added enough heartthrobbery to woo his intended demo (Aeropostale shoppers of both sexes). At 16-years-old, Mr. Rosen is already primed for greatness. Steven Tyler's uncombed face would not stop beaming.

Travis Orlando

I wasn't keen on Mr. Orlando's first song, an over-jazzed retooling of "Eleanor Rigby," but he ingeniously switched to Jason Mraz's unkillable mall-reggae anthem "I'm Yours" to clinch a Hollywood ticket. The smart genre transition reminded me of Paris Bennett's legendary season five audition, even if Travis needs to step up the starpower if he plans to outlast the semifinal cherubs.

Brielle Von Hugel

The "women" of last night's auditions (all high school sophomores, if memory serves) underwhelmed, but Brielle Von Hugel overcame the heap and her hideous pollution-green getup to sell "Endless Love." Funny, since Robbie Rosen already wore Lionel Richie's hair this episode. I concurred with Jennifer Lopez's concerns about Brielle's lack of resplendence, but there's no doubt she has more of a chance than the blander femmes last night who either undersold Alicia Keys or overestimated their own talents. You know what, Idol? I may have some eternal love left in storage for you after all.

(For the fullest recap possible, be sure to click on over to TVLine where Idol sorcerer Michael Slezak will slay you with comprehension.)


  • SunnydaZe says:

    Looks like the new qualifications include>
    A. Be 15-16 years old.
    B. Go completely bat-shit.
    C. Grovel like you are facing a firing squad and begging for your life.
    D. All of the above.
    Nice to see that "Being able to sing" is no longer on the list.

  • TurdBlossom says:

    AI has never been about singers so much as it has been about "personalities".

  • Rev Trev says:

    No matter what they say keep writing more about Reggaebecause we get to much bad stuff thrown at us!