8 Milestones in the Devolution of Ashton Kutcher

Guess Who (2005)

Kutcher decides to step into the role that Sidney Poitier made famous in this reverse take on Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. If nothing else, the film features a pre-_Star Trek_ Zoe Saldana who -- like Jennifer Garner -- is fortunate to have met J.J. Abrams after being in an Ashton Kutcher movie. (Also, in her case, James Cameron.) Kutcher's movies only get worse from here. Below, Kutcher's character attempts to tell some hilarious jokes* about African Americans in front of Bernie Mac.

[*Not hilarious.]

What Happens in Vegas (2008)

Ashton Kutcher plays another variation of the same persona that he's now played in numerous movies just like this. This time, Kutcher and Cameron Diaz meet by chance, get married, and win a lot of money in Vegas after a night of drinking too much alcohol. When trying to get a divorce, the judge makes a crazy, out-of-his-ass ruling that judges only make in movies or presidential elections, declaring that the two must cohabitate for six months. Yep, there's the premise for a movie all right. When this trailer starts, imagine that this movie starred Jason Sudeikis (who we see first) instead of Kutcher. Now that may have been a good movie.

One Million Twitter Followers (2009)

In 2009, Ashton Kutcher filmed himself watching his Twitter count as it passed the one million mark. OK, fine, he was the first one, I suppose that's something. But he had to go on and attempt to make the case that following Ashton Kutcher's feed on Twitter was a symbolism of the world rejecting mainstream media. Oh, puh-leeze. Right, like this gem of a Tweet from a few days ago. Who needs the media when we have Ashton Kutcher giving his support to the Chicago Bears?

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