VIDEO: Rob Lowe Apparently Not a Fan of Outsourced

· Parks & Recreation returns to television on Thursday night, which is great news for everyone, but apparently terrible news for Rob Lowe. That's because it means he hasn't been on television for months. As this new Funny or Die video shows, you do not want to keep Rob Lowe off television for months. Click ahead to watch the guaranteed funniest NSFW thing you'll see all day (says Lowe at one point, "I'm f*cking Miramax!"), then stick around for more Buzz Break.

· HBO has announced that they've acquired the rights to Project Nim, the opening night film of the 2011 Sundance Film Festival in the World Cinema Documentary Competition. The film -- about a "landmark experiment that aimed to show an ape could learn to communicate with language if raised and nurtured like a human child" -- comes from Man on Wire director James Marsh. [Press Release]

· Fresh off getting a chair broken over his head by Pee-wee Herman on Saturday Night Live, Anderson Cooper has been cast in the Broadway revival of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, opposite Daniel Radcliffe. Cooper will voice the narrator, a role that was filled by Walter Cronkite in the 1995 revival. [EW]

· You can't fire me, I quit! Ricky Gervais says that he won't host the Golden Globes next year. "Twice is enough." It is, Rickster. [TMZ]

· More Parks & Rec plugging! Amy Poehler has listed her 11 favorite sad scenes for The Daily Beast. This is an awesome list, so read it. [The Daily Beast]

· Alexander Payne has decided on his next film: Nebraska, a road trip dramedy about an estranged father and son. No casting yet, but The Playlist reports that Casey Affleck and Robert Forster are on the wish list. [The Playlist]

· Today in headlines: "Kate Beckinsale in a Bikini (VIDEO)." [Huffington Post]