Damon Lindelof Helps Write Sideways Universe Version of Sex and the City 2

Say what you will about Damon Lindelof, but the man has a knack for parodying bloated Hollywood excess. You'll recall that last June Lindelof wrote a BP-themed sequel treatment for Esquire titled Armageddoner!, and now he's back with an alternate version of Sex and the City 2. Don't worry, fans; this version doesn't feature a big meeting of all Carrie's ex-boyfriends in a church at some unknown time in the afterlife. It does feature a fatwa, though.

In a relatively funny interview with comedian Steven Shehori for Huffington Post -- one that intentionally avoids the usual stuff you might expect to read from Lindelof, like an Alien update or something on Star Trek 2; snooze -- the former Lost executive producer imagines what the plot for Sex and the City 2 was based solely on the trailer and some spitballing by Shehori. As such, Samantha winds up imprisoned in Bahrain because of a midriff-revealing burqa. It goes on from there.

DL: And this life-changing adventure gives Carrie the insight to finally understand how horribly she offended the cleric's wife with her column. So she finally meets her and delivers another speech. This one's twice as long and heartfelt as the one she used to free Samantha. It works, and she ends up avoiding the fatwa. Then she goes on a huge shopping spree with her new Middle Eastern friend.

SS: Capitalism being the great cultural unifier.

DL: And right before the closing credits, Samantha blurts out something completely "I can't believe she said that!" in nature. Probably about Muhammad. Which would set up an, "Oh no, here we go again!" response from the girls.

Not bad. Or, at least no worse than the actual plot of Sex and the City 2. A demerit, though, for not having Carrie and company devoured by the smoke monster. If ever there was a time when the smoke monster was truly needed...

· Steven Shehori: The Off-Topic Interview: Damon Lindelof [Huffington Post via Vulture]