Taylor Lautner Still Obsessed With Tom Cruise, and 7 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Also in today's edition of The Broadsheet: Olivia Wilde meets some new People... the Foo Fighters are hiring a director... Jason Schwartzman is a father... the quest for the longest sentence in literature... and more...

· We already knew Taylor Lautner had a thing for Tom Cruise. But for his upcoming thriller Abduction, the 18-year-old's director John Singleton pushed that emulation to the limit. ""I told him to watch the transition from Top Gun to Rain Man to Born on the Fourth of July, To think about what he did as a young man and what he did later on. And then think about what you want to do." Good advice, but does Lautner really have a cackling Scientology video in him? Developing... [LAT]

· Olivia Wilde has joined the cast of Alex Kurtzman's previously announced directorial debut Welcome to People, starring Chris Pine as a man who goes home after his father's death only to discover he has an alcoholic sister (played by Elizabeth Banks). Happens to all of us! Wilde will appear as Pine's girlfriend. [THR]

· What could you and Michel Gondry possibly have in common? Depending on your talent as a filmmaker, you might both have a Foo Fighters video under your belt: The band has put out an open call for its next director. Good luck! [Fuse]

· Apparently we're just now finding out about the kid Jason Schwartzman and wife Brady Cunningham had last month. Unacceptable! Gossip never sleeps! [People via Vulture]

· The plot to the forthcoming, Hawaii-tinged Toy Story short has been revealed. Run, don't walk, to this news, folks. [The Pixar Blog]

· Researchers appear to have found a correlation between drinking and monogamy. I'm so confused. [The Hairpin]

· What's the state of the art of the "very long sentence" in 2011? New York Times readers weigh in. [NYT]

· You can't make it up: "In the spring of 2008, Gen. David H. Petraeus decided he had spent enough time gazing from his helicopter at an empty and desolate lake on the banks of the Tigris River. He ordered the lake refilled and turned into a water park for all of Baghdad to enjoy. [...] But today the Baghdad park is nearly waterless, more than two years after a U.S. military inauguration ceremony that included a marching band and water-scooter rides." [Washington Post via Salon]