Talkin' 'Bout My Generation: The 10 Biggest Television Fails of the Year


Bridalplasty200.jpg7. Bristol Palin Making it to the Dancing with the Stars Finals

In spite of a big "f*ck you" from Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron, conspiracy theorists prevailed during the show's eleventh U.S. season thanks to the suspiciously unsinkable Bristol Palin. The most awkward performer of the season, Movieline's DWTS expert Louis Virtel determined that the daughter of the former vice presidential candidate survived thanks to her mother's Republican fan base, a touch of the Sanjaya Syndrome and finally, the fact that conspiracy theorists were not dialing in to vote (even if they were orchestrating anthrax scares). Even Movieline's friend and fellow recapper Erin Andrews insinuated that Bristol's high scores from the judges seemed unfair. Alas, after nationwide outrage, Bristol finished third and did not get the chance to wave a middle finger at her haters as she had hoped.


Bridalplasty200.jpg8. Roger Sterling's Memoirs

As far as bombastic fictional characters releasing memoirs go, television audiences hoped that Glee's Sue Sylvester or Mad Men's Roger Sterling would be the first to cross into the publishing industry. Indeed, we got our wish in the form of Roger Sterling's book, Sterling's Gold: Wit and Wisdom of an Ad Man, which was published in November. If you had hoped for juicy accounts of relationships with Joan, cringe-worthy memories of romps with Miss Blankenship or hilariously off color party stories though, you would be disappointed because the book was just a series of witticisms that at most might entertain for a maximum of ten minutes as a stocking suffer. Roger Sterling and Mad Men fans, you deserve better.


Bridalplasty200.jpg9. Conan O'Brien's Sham "First Guest Contest"

In an effort to thank his fans for their undying support throughout a tumultuous parting with NBC and a continent-wide comedy tour, Conan O'Brien promised fans that they would get to choose the first guest of his new TBS show. Well, they would get to pick the first guest of his new TBS guest from a list of possible guests including Justin Bieber, Pope Benedict, the Sultan of Brunei and Jack Nicholson. In actuality, the "First Guest Contest" was another strange CoCo joke, the humor of which was lost when the contest was reported by legitimate news sources. When it came to the first episode of Conan, the host introduced Arlene Wagner, curator of Leavenworth Nutcracker Museum, as the first guest, a gag that fell flat and set the tone for Conan's unremarkable first episode.


Bridalplasty200.jpg10. Bridalplasty: The Most Horrifying TV Experiment of All

Whether you file this new E! reality series under the category tragic or apocolypse signifier, one thing is for certain: when Paul Gottlieb Nipkow imagined the first television back in the late 1800s, he probably never envisioned that his invention would be used to broadcast footage of shallow brides-to-be competing for breast implants and new noses. Or maybe he did?

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Comments

  • Ted says:

    Sorry Ms Miller, but your post should have been titled "Television's One Big Fail and Nine Unremarkable Decisions A Few Of Us Didn't Like."

  • Yabby says:

    I consider it a 'win' anytime that hack singer Perry is pulled off the airwaves.

  • Chris Ford says:

    I don't think Lee Dewyze was the best winner ever, but his personal style of music and studio product is light years better than his "live" performing. The problem with the other contestents? Crystal is coffee shop retro, but a fine artist who will get a good, but small niche following. Casey wasn't much of a singer, and it seems the depth of his ambition is a "bar band upgrade" to a better payday where he is featured at what he is really good at - lead guitar and looking fine. I liked Didi Benami but she has a thin voice, narrow range. Michael Lynche is a 300 lb falsetto singing "soul-love" merchant and no one wants to buy.
    The two best singing talents, IMO, Aaron Kelly and Siobhan Magnus were simply NOT ready when they competed. Both have remarkable voices but need polishing. Their range and power actually makes it harder to sing errorless and gloss over weaknesses than someone that sings in a narrow range.
    Aaron at 16 is actually more set in his path than poor Siobhan at 20 - who is resisting being in a music niche and has film, stage, art, and graphics talent and interests. The next 4 years will find Aaron and Siobhan growing by leaps and bounds. Both have great futures as performers, IMO.

  • SunnydaZe says:

    Parks and Recreations being removed from the air so Community would seem better without the comparison. Oh, and the fact that this plan.

  • SunnydaZe says:

    ...worked. I accidentally hit submit with my thumb.

  • Blake says:

    Well you may think that Lee Dewyze was nothing special but that did not stop the Cook fans for going on the attack. Anyone getting more ink than their guy becomes an instant and constant target.

  • Nathan says:

    Funny that anyone would still use those stale arguments of niche artist or bar singer. Especially when Crystal is now in line to sell more albums then Lee, obviously Lee was more of a niche artist then her seeing as he isn't able to sell more albums, and Casey James has been signed by Sony Nashville, obviously Sony see something more then a bar singer. He will most likely also sell more albums then Lee.

  • Jack Frost says:

    1. Parks and Rec was pulled off because its ratings weren't that good.
    2. Parks and Rec was pulled off to make room for the atrocious Outsourced, which NBC thinks will be a hit.
    3. Community is just as good as Parks and Rec.
    4. Community is awesome.

  • Cait says:

    I would add The Good Guys being moved to the friday night dumping ground and then canceled as a very big fail. And then fox failing to move it over to FX as an even bigger one.

  • truhseeker says:

    How is Palin a fail when she nearly won you dumb left wing nut?
    Go back in your hole you agenda pushing dolt